hotmike19's Blogs

raped and being gay

hotmike19 Blog Last Activity 3 years ago 55K views 84 comments
Is there a connection with being raped and turning out gay? I was chatting with another member and we found out it was common between us. So is it common that if your raped you might turn out gay. Any studies been done on it? Anyone else fall in the same category?

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5 years ago

Yes - you were a big girly fag bag long before you got raped haha! (stop making excuses dude)

mirish7
5 years ago

See this is an old post that has been revived.  Please forgive if much of what I am going to say has already been said.  
First of all I am so sorry if anyone was raped and if anyone is still suffering the after effects. My heart goes out to anyone victimized.  If this still haunts you, and you have not yet done so. if you do not want to report the rapist(s) for various reasons, at least seek counseling to talk through the issues.  Rape is about someone exerting power, it is not necessarily about sex.  Victims should not blame themselves and should not be ashamed of being overpowered by someone stronger.  
Studies have been done by Kinsey and others indicating that sexuality if not strictly black or white. In essence, all human sexuality falls within a continuum with completely straight and completely gay at either end and bi in the middle. So in reality most men fall somewhere within the continuum. IF push came to shove, you might find that a male friend who identifies himself as 100% straight, might actually admit after a few drinks that he found some guys attractive (i.e. handsome, muscular, etc.) and even possibly allow himself to fantasize for about 20 seconds or so about what it would be like or even experiment a bit.  

So being raped does not make you gay, but it might expedite your exploration of where you might fall within the continuum.   Beyond the severe violation and sometime violent invasion of a victim's personal space and taking his innocence, I suspect society also makes things even doubly difficult for men to come to terms with their sexuality.  First because "real men" are supposed to be strong and not victimized.  And second, in many areas of the US and other countries there is still heavy religious and cultural influence associating negative connotations with someone who had gay sex (even against their will) or being found out to be gay.   

I wish anyone who has been victimized does not blame themselves and eventually can find some kind of inner peace.   

dreeke23
5 years ago

...........once upon a time there was...................

d4david
5 years ago

 I was raped by three of the school bullies when I was in the ninth grade repeatedly for about six hours. When I did not report them, they would assault me when ever they wanted. I do not consider my self to be gay but I do enjoy being taken by a guy(s) now and then. No I do not think any one is born gay, if so then one would be born a murderer or thief!

ZanyZander
5 years ago

Everyone are bi-sexual whether they realize it or naught.   I'm sorry it took someone being raped before they figured it out themselves.    That is sad.

DarkoDonnie35
5 years ago

Lol you don't turn gay i didn't wake up one morning and decide i wanted to be gay.Like a few of the members here i was gay before it was cool to be gay.I never wanted to be if i had a choice i wouldn't be.so i really doubt been raped Turns you gay ,are the members here that weren't raped straight? 

smallpeter
5 years ago

all of my early sexual experiences were with boys, when I was 14 I consented to having anal sex with a much older guy not know how rough and painful it would be. I wasn't raped because I did want it, but I wanted it to be different

5 years ago

I knew I liked other boys long before I was molested and fucked... So, No that didn't make me gay. I already was Bi and stayed that way.

8 years ago

@Billyboy96 It takes one to know one,,, crack head bitches like you pay me to suck my dic.....

gbguy2525
8 years ago

I don't think there is any scientific support to your ideas.

funksexual
8 years ago

Two words: Hell no.

daddybeardude
8 years ago

i have heard this before. i was molested throughout my childhood, the last time when i was 15. i dont think it made me gay, and honestly i dont think it matters why i like guys, it just is.

8 years ago

Usually the younger child in any family is gay because of extra hormones in the womb left by previous siblings.
Any body who is gay may have just happend to get raped as a child...

8 years ago

I was raped at the age of 5 by a boy in my neighborhood. it started with him exposing himself to me in my backyard. He had me jack him off then it went to oral and then anal rape. I guess to deal with the pain and what was going on I had an out of body experience, I can remember looking at my self as I was being raped. I do not have a lot of memory's from that time as I have suppressed them. Over the last 5 years I have started to remember the events of my early childhood. It has caused me sever anxiety and panic attacks and many trips to the E.R. thinking I was having strokes or heart attacks. I have had left sided numbness on my body. I have gone through many tests thinking I had MS. My rape has caused me a lot of problems over the last 5 years, I thought I could handle it my self but I could not. I finally went and got help. It has been the best decision I have ever made. I now feel truly happy for the first time in my life, I still have a long way to go but I have made a lot of progress in a short period of time. Now do i feel as if my rape may have influenced my sexuality, I truly feel that it did influence my sexuality.

I will say to anyone out there if you were raped or were traumatized at a young age there is help out there, do not feel ashamed to asked for help. ( I was ashamed to ask for help, boy was i wrong!)It was not your fault, no one has the wright to do that to you or anyone else.

yanalxD
9 years ago

A lot of people were molested here, it seems. How awful! I hope everyone is fine now. I'm so thankful that nothing ever happened to me when I was a child. If you are still scarred by this, seek help. Go to therapy. It's time to move on and live your life to fullest! :-) Hugs!

9 years ago

I knew I was gay before I was molested , I was actually molested because Im gay.
.w.

kotojr
9 years ago

I also new I was gay before it happened to me. I don't think it turns anyone, for me it just made me angry and hate, now I'm 23 and realize not all people hurt kids.

9 years ago

your only jealous cos you have no style luv

9 years ago

Mark was raped. Look at his hair..

9 years ago

not sure. i doubt it. sorry to hear even guys here were raped. OMG how awful x

9 years ago

I was raped by two older men when I was 14 years old. I didn't know if I was gay or straight. I hadn't even started to masturbate yet. I think the experience made me realize I was gay, because I went back for more.