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april 20, 2011 ~ silence can be golden but doesnt make speakin up scrap metal
today is 12 year commemoration of Columbine tragedy and Day of Silence. its interesting to me that these are like this for this year at least. both are about awareness of bullyin and hate. so ironic too that its hitlers birthday today cos he the king of all that. but on other side, it '420' day aka national pot smokers day and come to learn about how the 420 name come to be and kind of interests me also maybe some you too (#1) http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=420
a little confusin to me and not from 420 cos cant use it with asthma and me brain has nuff fuse blown as is lol. but see, i learnt few years ago about much 'gay' history. so many people suffer, beaten by police, jailed and others murdered or like harvey milk, assassinated. to me, nothing to be silent about but stand up in honor of all those who make it some easier. i want to cheer them and thank them and honor them specially those not here with huge flowers and hearts.
i know what its like to hurt and feel misfit in many ways. but sometime just one person make the diff. i look back few years and it was me gran and me uncle and how lucky i am for both. when i could not talk, me gran said she knew i was here 'in there' she say. and when come she first one to see i am, me uncle took on from there and still there today and now gran cannot talk with alzheimers so i bring her flowers at least she can breath pretty smell cos i know she love it.
in past couple years i been here not signed up and gone and here again signed up then gone agaun cos i misunderstand easy. but one thing i understand good is others here hurtin and lonely and guys like alex17, toby19 help so much and alex first one to ever be friend here and toby give me courage to come out just like 2 months ago. so im grateful to them and all who are friends. had misunderstandin with one, feel hurt and we patch it all up. that is how real this virtual place can be.
so im not bein so silent today, but i do get why its done. but hope rest of year people out loud and proud and to be that we need be upstandin even here in play and personal time about what im writin somewhere else and that 'd come before f' cos all know short code 'wtf' ~ well d come before f and = diff ...
what the diff? between not us but what all us have that some hate so much. the diff is our sexuality and ya, this place all about sexuality and hey, im here so dont think im dissin nobody. but our sexuality just part of us and i never understand why we make other labels cos me, im not all agreed with 'gay' politics. i got not problem sayin, 'im a homosexual' cos it NO diff than other parts of what make me like im first gen american from brit/irish heritage. my race. my creed my beautiful blond hair (lol) and math genius and speech impeds etc. all small parts of me. but i dont want to celebrate the diffs. i want to talk about the sameness.
were all human beings.
so some know some things i like here and just maybe im gonna make that t-shirt says 'save brain function, sniff pits not poppers' and you all join me lol. but for serious, we all the same in this way, we cut finger, we bleed and all blood is red. we have hearts and feelins that can get hurt and if one hurtin another why is that? what hurt they have make them want to do that? how can anyone help?
some dont like me cos how i feel on same gender (sex) marriage. to me its big thing, im raised both catholic and protestant. me parents meet in belfast when like my age. irish girl. british boy. they hate death and war not each other cos of church so work together and so careful cos could be killed themselves like traitors. 25 years later, married, live in usa, 4 kids, success they go back to commemorate. that when billy get made. ya, made in belfast born in usa. so many other stories of struggle and yet success. that from marriage and marriage is holy even when between irish catholic and british protestant. means a lot to them and me. so i respect it. tolerance go 2 ways. maybe we never get 'acceptance' but maybe more understandin if we work to have legal matrimony. matrimony = marriage in latin. our laws come from latin roots and legal system uses latin still. ya should be right to have legal status or 'human right' as couple but not same as 'rite' from holy church. come on, look at pics and vids. holy? rofl and im guilty of unholiness cept some me undies cos they got holes in em but far from holy!
few days ago, i got work up about a vid on here and give nick18 full respect for takin off cos video made in a car that the boy end up killed in accident same car! ok,w vladimir shibanov was 18 when made it but he also abused since so young by sex tourism pedo and pimp igor rosanov in ukraine like other boys from poor families there. i for real dont think 99.9% of people here want that kind of thing so ya, i ask it taken off cos tarnish on the site and other goody people laff at me saying that. hey~ dont like? dont look! ya, most people here no matter sex life say theres a limit and anybody j-o to 18 year old crushed in car go look at car after accident or vlad's grave firstly. prolly change your mind.
not here to be anything really but a buddy to all like me who may not have too many or any at all in 'rw'. someone ask, 'can 2 queer males be friends without sex?' i think so. not sayin dont hug, kiss but mainly curl up and feel safe like 2 kitties or just be buds and bust each other balls about guy stuff like guys do, but maybe in queer humor. ya, i use the q word. neve the f word cept to describe cigaret in england like 'pack of fags' not mean group of homosexuals. oh dear, there that word again. ya, my name is billy and really, im not gay. im a homo and queer in so many ways (that mostly cos of bein aspie and found at least one friend here who relates so thats big to me!
im not here to copy what alex and toby do but help them however i can. nick is the code chef that cooks this all up and keeps fresh so i bow to him as unworthy wanker and bandwidth sucker yet humbly offer me geek skills if want and yes, im doin some other things but some wrong sayin 'compete' with gbt. LMMFAO! no way and cant imagine bandwidth costs! for last couple years, i save *scrap metal* to feed homeless and hungry rent boys right here where i live so no compete with gbt! if any want to learn bout how to help others where they live so we become stronger and respected, just pm me and i share ideas and things ive learnt.
so many good friends here and none i love more than them bein themselves and specially about age. like i put in profile b4, its not about age and that itself when i see in profiles turn off 'fat, old, hairy' ~ hey, what opposite of gettin older? i mean i hope im 60 some day like one friend here and we talk about stuff and he never hit on me. make compliments and i blush but not say 'turn on cam' or that kind of thing. how bout this day of silence we all be silent about 'turn off' amake some people hurt bad? ya a few old guys perv and pedo. some young guys prissy bitches act all like so better than other queers. make average joe or billy feel like hamburger markdown at grocery. so no bullyin? start with all us to each other. be at least respectin and maybe kind and thoughtful too.
ya just come back after me own meltdown and misunderstanding with someone here knows who he is and he knows me and we better friends cos find way through it and come out better friends. no drama just real people and both get hurt but big enough to say friendship stronger than this and we love each other as buddies. so lets all try to be buddies and help when ask and ya, bust balls to make each other laff but laff with not at you know? this day of silence im speakin out even makin mistakes and havin those 'social cue' issues. im human, i make mistakes and if we all get a bit more forgivin and less judgin maybe people hatin us take another look and say, dont mess with cos they got each others back! im sorry if ever offend anyone here. dont feel no shame about seeing that one vid gone or callin meself a homosexual ~ cos i am ~ no shame in it. so close with this thought
stand together if we just can be~
so much the stronger and truly FREE!
toby19 ~ and supportin buddies, thanks for the courage that make me feel it at long, long last. i hope you feel this today 4/20/12:
http://youtu.be/7S3rlvt5yCw?t=1m40s
~billy
a little confusin to me and not from 420 cos cant use it with asthma and me brain has nuff fuse blown as is lol. but see, i learnt few years ago about much 'gay' history. so many people suffer, beaten by police, jailed and others murdered or like harvey milk, assassinated. to me, nothing to be silent about but stand up in honor of all those who make it some easier. i want to cheer them and thank them and honor them specially those not here with huge flowers and hearts.
i know what its like to hurt and feel misfit in many ways. but sometime just one person make the diff. i look back few years and it was me gran and me uncle and how lucky i am for both. when i could not talk, me gran said she knew i was here 'in there' she say. and when come she first one to see i am, me uncle took on from there and still there today and now gran cannot talk with alzheimers so i bring her flowers at least she can breath pretty smell cos i know she love it.
in past couple years i been here not signed up and gone and here again signed up then gone agaun cos i misunderstand easy. but one thing i understand good is others here hurtin and lonely and guys like alex17, toby19 help so much and alex first one to ever be friend here and toby give me courage to come out just like 2 months ago. so im grateful to them and all who are friends. had misunderstandin with one, feel hurt and we patch it all up. that is how real this virtual place can be.
so im not bein so silent today, but i do get why its done. but hope rest of year people out loud and proud and to be that we need be upstandin even here in play and personal time about what im writin somewhere else and that 'd come before f' cos all know short code 'wtf' ~ well d come before f and = diff ...
what the diff? between not us but what all us have that some hate so much. the diff is our sexuality and ya, this place all about sexuality and hey, im here so dont think im dissin nobody. but our sexuality just part of us and i never understand why we make other labels cos me, im not all agreed with 'gay' politics. i got not problem sayin, 'im a homosexual' cos it NO diff than other parts of what make me like im first gen american from brit/irish heritage. my race. my creed my beautiful blond hair (lol) and math genius and speech impeds etc. all small parts of me. but i dont want to celebrate the diffs. i want to talk about the sameness.
were all human beings.
so some know some things i like here and just maybe im gonna make that t-shirt says 'save brain function, sniff pits not poppers' and you all join me lol. but for serious, we all the same in this way, we cut finger, we bleed and all blood is red. we have hearts and feelins that can get hurt and if one hurtin another why is that? what hurt they have make them want to do that? how can anyone help?
some dont like me cos how i feel on same gender (sex) marriage. to me its big thing, im raised both catholic and protestant. me parents meet in belfast when like my age. irish girl. british boy. they hate death and war not each other cos of church so work together and so careful cos could be killed themselves like traitors. 25 years later, married, live in usa, 4 kids, success they go back to commemorate. that when billy get made. ya, made in belfast born in usa. so many other stories of struggle and yet success. that from marriage and marriage is holy even when between irish catholic and british protestant. means a lot to them and me. so i respect it. tolerance go 2 ways. maybe we never get 'acceptance' but maybe more understandin if we work to have legal matrimony. matrimony = marriage in latin. our laws come from latin roots and legal system uses latin still. ya should be right to have legal status or 'human right' as couple but not same as 'rite' from holy church. come on, look at pics and vids. holy? rofl and im guilty of unholiness cept some me undies cos they got holes in em but far from holy!
few days ago, i got work up about a vid on here and give nick18 full respect for takin off cos video made in a car that the boy end up killed in accident same car! ok,w vladimir shibanov was 18 when made it but he also abused since so young by sex tourism pedo and pimp igor rosanov in ukraine like other boys from poor families there. i for real dont think 99.9% of people here want that kind of thing so ya, i ask it taken off cos tarnish on the site and other goody people laff at me saying that. hey~ dont like? dont look! ya, most people here no matter sex life say theres a limit and anybody j-o to 18 year old crushed in car go look at car after accident or vlad's grave firstly. prolly change your mind.
not here to be anything really but a buddy to all like me who may not have too many or any at all in 'rw'. someone ask, 'can 2 queer males be friends without sex?' i think so. not sayin dont hug, kiss but mainly curl up and feel safe like 2 kitties or just be buds and bust each other balls about guy stuff like guys do, but maybe in queer humor. ya, i use the q word. neve the f word cept to describe cigaret in england like 'pack of fags' not mean group of homosexuals. oh dear, there that word again. ya, my name is billy and really, im not gay. im a homo and queer in so many ways (that mostly cos of bein aspie and found at least one friend here who relates so thats big to me!
im not here to copy what alex and toby do but help them however i can. nick is the code chef that cooks this all up and keeps fresh so i bow to him as unworthy wanker and bandwidth sucker yet humbly offer me geek skills if want and yes, im doin some other things but some wrong sayin 'compete' with gbt. LMMFAO! no way and cant imagine bandwidth costs! for last couple years, i save *scrap metal* to feed homeless and hungry rent boys right here where i live so no compete with gbt! if any want to learn bout how to help others where they live so we become stronger and respected, just pm me and i share ideas and things ive learnt.
so many good friends here and none i love more than them bein themselves and specially about age. like i put in profile b4, its not about age and that itself when i see in profiles turn off 'fat, old, hairy' ~ hey, what opposite of gettin older? i mean i hope im 60 some day like one friend here and we talk about stuff and he never hit on me. make compliments and i blush but not say 'turn on cam' or that kind of thing. how bout this day of silence we all be silent about 'turn off' amake some people hurt bad? ya a few old guys perv and pedo. some young guys prissy bitches act all like so better than other queers. make average joe or billy feel like hamburger markdown at grocery. so no bullyin? start with all us to each other. be at least respectin and maybe kind and thoughtful too.
ya just come back after me own meltdown and misunderstanding with someone here knows who he is and he knows me and we better friends cos find way through it and come out better friends. no drama just real people and both get hurt but big enough to say friendship stronger than this and we love each other as buddies. so lets all try to be buddies and help when ask and ya, bust balls to make each other laff but laff with not at you know? this day of silence im speakin out even makin mistakes and havin those 'social cue' issues. im human, i make mistakes and if we all get a bit more forgivin and less judgin maybe people hatin us take another look and say, dont mess with cos they got each others back! im sorry if ever offend anyone here. dont feel no shame about seeing that one vid gone or callin meself a homosexual ~ cos i am ~ no shame in it. so close with this thought
stand together if we just can be~
so much the stronger and truly FREE!
toby19 ~ and supportin buddies, thanks for the courage that make me feel it at long, long last. i hope you feel this today 4/20/12:
http://youtu.be/7S3rlvt5yCw?t=1m40s
~billy
ps. hope you know, british royal family was german and change name to that of castle not other way round lol! search 'hous
ps. hope you know, british royal family was german and change name to that of castle not other way round lol! search 'hous