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Addicted to someone you love, is it possible?

Blog Last Activity 11 years ago 484 views 6 comments
I met a guy on the Internet and after a while I became very much in love with him. So much in love that it became a problem cause I was constantly thinking of him, living an illusion that felt like I was living a dream (it really was only that) and by doing so, I neglected my real life and responsabilities (I have a family of my own). I became like a drug addict in a way, not being able to live WITHOUT him but not being able to live WITH him either... I decided to stop our relationship for the sake of my real life, but it is still very hard like if I had a craving for him. I iss him a lot. I feel I’m going cold turkey! Love is the strongest of drugs you know. Is there any one out there who has been living that kind of relationship and what’s to do to heal from it? Thanx for sharing your thoughts...

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11 years ago

I want to thank you all for your comment. Everyone of you helped me in their own way and I feel I’m not alone who has to deal with that kind of behavior. I will be careful in the future and continue to ask good friends for advise and listen good to them. At 52 I’m still a kid in the matter of how to manage my emotions and what is good and not for me. Thanx again. XOXOXO

11 years ago

Robert .. my question is, was the other guy in love with you ? I've found the internet and meeting people can create an a powerful "infatuation" effect that can SEEM like love. You crave the person, but the other person either doesn't feel the same way .. or possibly isn't even aware of how seriously infatuated you are, with them. In the end, it's hard to tell, over the internet, whether a relationship is real, or not. I enjoy the people I meet here, and the friendships made, but keep reminding myself that it's unlikely I'll meet anyone here that would develop into a REAL relationship. Once you see the internet as more of a place to meet friends .. you can relax and just enjoy it (for what it is ..).
Not sure if this helps .. just my personal observations. :-)

11 years ago

I also know how you and Johnnyboy20012 feel. I am in the same position with a guy I met on here. I know deep down that he most likely doesn't feel the same about me, but I just can't help myself. I don't want to smoother him though, I want to watch him develop into his own person. I just want to be with him and give him all my love and share life with him. I know I am living a dream (possibly an illusion), maybe I should just stop dreaming and move on. I can not answer the questions billybuddy poses, and I don't want to freak the guy out by trying to ask - it would not be fair to load him with my shit. I think I will just let the situation run it's course and when the dream is finally smashed, just pick up the pieces (as I have done many times before) and move on as best I can in life.

11 years ago

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JohnnyBoy20012
11 years ago

Robert I know how you feel, I meet this guy online too and I am so much in love with him too. Love is a drug and your not alone. I think of this guy when I am bored or lonely and try not to let it effect my life but it some ways it has since the other day I was hoping he was online to chat but never came online. I then was hanging out with my best friend and still thinking of him I even called it an early night just to chat with him online. So you are not alone man but you should not let it effect your life. I sent you a friends request if you need someone to talk to about this since I am here for you buddy. Big special hugs for you Robert.

11 years ago

addiction or obsession? it sound to me like you obsess over the one you love and that is prolly cos you see in him all the things you wish you were. the truth is, you can be but self love is hard to get to especially if you have low self esteem from any number of reasons. why you think so many young gay guys end their life? they cant take it and go to the point of obsess they feel worthless. but see, i am bless to have a positive environment, even with life difficulties (some say 'special need' about me have aspergers.) still, i wonder for long time about will i ever find one who love me as i am.

do you love you as you are? does HE love you as you are? have you communicate open with him about this issue? ask him to help you? here is simple fact: if you were so bad 'addicted' or 'obsess' over him, he would have dump you from you driving him insane. 'everybody need a little time away' and dont want to feel controlled or smothered. but you say you leave him. hmm. what did he say? 'ok goodbye' ?? did he cry? did he want to talk about it or just let go like 'later dude!'.

to just end it like is sayed 'throw baby out with bath water' as i see it. i say, talk to him. be open about how you feel about him and yourself. ask if he want the relationship to go on and will he help you love yourself more. a healthy relationship come from 2 who love themselfs enough to give love to another. ok that is right out of 'co-dependant no more' a good book to read! are you equals in your relationship or are you a rescuer and he the rescuee? one thing true from that book, the rescuee always ends up despise/resent the rescuer cos it create havoc in the rescuee's self-esteem. all 'normal' selfs (beings/psyches) want to be independant and strong to self. otherwise we all stay babies forever (and im not talk about what so many have to do because of economic times!)

i tell you with kindness and respect to rethink where things are at. what do you need to do to make you like yourself better. be stronger and by that more attractive. you dont need be needy and neither does he. you need be caring and sharing but also have self-discipline to structure your life so can do what needs be to be indy and strong and contribute to the relationship equals. this i learnt from me first love, who was twice my age. he knows of me struggles. he was lover but more a helper and i grow from the short relationship we had, that ended cos of possible conflicts include him lose his job in me fam's company. it out and open now but he has a new love, and i have fallen in love for the last time in my life. i will do me part to make it work and he and i talk about this and i have no doubt he will too. slow down. go have a coffee with him. you want it to work? does he? then like piccard say on the deck ~ 'make it so!' and you will :)