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Addicted to someone you love, is it possible?
I met a guy on the Internet and after a while I became very much in love with him. So much in love that it became a problem cause I was constantly thinking of him, living an illusion that felt like I was living a dream (it really was only that) and by doing so, I neglected my real life and responsabilities (I have a family of my own). I became like a drug addict in a way, not being able to live WITHOUT him but not being able to live WITH him either... I decided to stop our relationship for the sake of my real life, but it is still very hard like if I had a craving for him. I iss him a lot. I feel I’m going cold turkey! Love is the strongest of drugs you know. Is there any one out there who has been living that kind of relationship and what’s to do to heal from it? Thanx for sharing your thoughts...
Not sure if this helps .. just my personal observations. :-)
do you love you as you are? does HE love you as you are? have you communicate open with him about this issue? ask him to help you? here is simple fact: if you were so bad 'addicted' or 'obsess' over him, he would have dump you from you driving him insane. 'everybody need a little time away' and dont want to feel controlled or smothered. but you say you leave him. hmm. what did he say? 'ok goodbye' ?? did he cry? did he want to talk about it or just let go like 'later dude!'.
to just end it like is sayed 'throw baby out with bath water' as i see it. i say, talk to him. be open about how you feel about him and yourself. ask if he want the relationship to go on and will he help you love yourself more. a healthy relationship come from 2 who love themselfs enough to give love to another. ok that is right out of 'co-dependant no more' a good book to read! are you equals in your relationship or are you a rescuer and he the rescuee? one thing true from that book, the rescuee always ends up despise/resent the rescuer cos it create havoc in the rescuee's self-esteem. all 'normal' selfs (beings/psyches) want to be independant and strong to self. otherwise we all stay babies forever (and im not talk about what so many have to do because of economic times!)
i tell you with kindness and respect to rethink where things are at. what do you need to do to make you like yourself better. be stronger and by that more attractive. you dont need be needy and neither does he. you need be caring and sharing but also have self-discipline to structure your life so can do what needs be to be indy and strong and contribute to the relationship equals. this i learnt from me first love, who was twice my age. he knows of me struggles. he was lover but more a helper and i grow from the short relationship we had, that ended cos of possible conflicts include him lose his job in me fam's company. it out and open now but he has a new love, and i have fallen in love for the last time in my life. i will do me part to make it work and he and i talk about this and i have no doubt he will too. slow down. go have a coffee with him. you want it to work? does he? then like piccard say on the deck ~ 'make it so!' and you will :)