johnnybegood's Blogs

Been a hard month

johnnybegood Blog Last Activity 5 years ago 771 views 19 comments
I feel as of late that the world is beating on my sholders and I am not sure I am gonna beat it or fall on my ass. Seems like everytime I turn around someone is either upset or I need to be strong for them and I never get, "Hey man are you okay" not once in the slightest. I do still wear my braclets on my wrist to remind me not to cut and its hard sometimes. I know I am being stupid and I just need to breath, but sometimes it hurts to stay strong sometimes. Some nice friendly advice would be real nice right about now, so I dont fall on my ass. (And no Its not for attention, just would like a helping hand)---Johnny

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5 years ago

You're not being stupid. Don't ever think that, Okay? Let's start there. We are living in a confused society. It has nothing to do with you. Try this. Get off alone. By yourself. If you've got a good book, great. If not, just find a way to be alone. Then take some deep breaths. Think only about yourself and your survival. Do not think about anyone else. No one. Just you. Stay where you are and think of yourself and decide then what is the best course of action. It may be to split. Maybe you don't have much money or resources. Just go. Anything is better than what you are suffering. Once you see a new place, your attitude will change immediately and the possibility of happiness won't seem so far away. Best of Luck to you,. 

11 years ago

I use to self harm too, things were mounting up and i couldnt find a way to release the build up and the pain which is why I turned to it. Something that I turned to instead of cutting myself was to hold onto a ice cube. After a few minutes the pain becomes so intense that when you let go of the ice the pain is released. The best thing is there's no scars and your not hurting yourself. Next time you have the erg try it. In the end I ended up on anti depressants. And now that I'm stable I don't see it as a sign of weakness being on them either.

stargeeyzer
stargeeyzer
11 years ago

Holidays are a hard time traditionally...people don't understand why depression, car wrecks, and death rates go up during the holidays, but they do...I always look to my calendar to see how long it's gonna be until the work season is coming back.....have a good thanksgiving and remember, the next monday is just a few days away....all you have to do is make it till then.

red1844
red1844
11 years ago

always try to stay strong my friend. life is not easy and it never will be. i have always struggled through my life. as i am getting older though i have learned how to turn those negatives into positives. it is hard butit does work. stay strong my friend

johnnybegood
johnnybegood
11 years ago

You are right I am Strong, Just sometimes forget that, when I read everyones advice I chippered up. Sometimes I need a positive energy boost. Between you guys and the bands I wear I know I am strong...Thank you all and have a good day guys===

seedy26
seedy26
11 years ago

hello, so you want good advice. hope i have some. i feel the same way you do, everyone forgets to assk the strong if they are okay, they dont seem to think we can have problems, or issues, or feel overwhelmed, but we can, and when we are, thats saying something cuz it must be pretty bad if we (the strong people) feel that way. one day just a couple months ago i was undecided if i should continue school, or take a semister off to get my bearings, (i was feeling overwhelmed, it was a busy stressful summer) and two of my friends were having relationship problems, were always talking bout how bad their lives were, so one day in the middle of a store, they were both there trying to out do eachother with problem stories... i had had enough, so i snapped and started telling my problems, and they said their problems were more important.. i dont think so, im going to school to become a scientist who has ambitions to cure the world, if i cant get over my self and get my life together then the future will not have a doctor who could cure cancer, aids, anything i set my mind to, and yur trivial relationship problems dont dare compare to my issues, they shut up, and i got perspective, so im back doing my science degree in biology, and i have my confidence back, because i know that i can do anything i put my mind to, as long as i dont forget who i am. i am strong, and i dont have petty problems like others, and it doesnt matter, because i can overcome them, i just have to remember that, and it sounds like you need to remember that too. just because your friends cant handle their problems, even with your good advice, means they are weak, and you have to decide if you are too. so are you weak or strong?

Gavinhawk
Gavinhawk
11 years ago

Don't worry so much about falling on your arse my dear Johnny, because that's why the Gay Gods gave us lovely round bums to fall upon. And in furtherance to that let me personally thank you for all those wonderful things that you've done and will do (Noticed or not, that in fact make this world a more pleasant place in which to dwell. Cheers to you and keep your pecker up! :o)

johnnybegood
johnnybegood
11 years ago

Aww thank you, I think its awesome you travel alot, If you ever in bum fuck NY look me up lol ill buy you a coffee

11 years ago

Johnny I want to thank you for being my friend. As I move from place to place I like having people here to talk to. You are my universal constants

johnnybegood
johnnybegood
11 years ago

thanks guys I wanna thank you for making me feel better =) johnny

11 years ago

Johnny...you have friends here. Don't wait until you are feeling down. We are all available by pm anytime you need us. We are shoulders to lean on, ears to listen to you...arms to catch if you feel you are going to fall....you aren't alone...I know you are lonely...but you are never alone here. Thomas

JohnnyBoy20012
JohnnyBoy20012
11 years ago

Johnny that awesome that your ok but I am still here to help you if you need someone to talk to. Big hugs to you.

johnnybegood
johnnybegood
11 years ago

I am ok, just been blue, hard times at work bills pilling up and just alittle lonely that i have no one to share things with. Just gets to me. I have been wearing two wrist bands that remind me not to hurt myself. So I will be fine just looking for support is all.

11 years ago

Johnny, I love you man.

nate88
nate88
11 years ago

Johnny - PM me or email. Yes Johnny, ARE you OK????? Don't let things get you so down - be strong cause you have good friends who do care. Andy

JohnnyBoy20012
JohnnyBoy20012
11 years ago

Johnny I sent you a PM. I am here to talk if you need a friend even if it just to cry on my shoulder I am here to buddy. Big hugs to you and stay strong.