anjinsan's Blogs

Jokes MkII

anjinsan Blog Last Activity 11 years ago 732 views 16 comments
Since mrpenisman sadly left us, the jokes blog is closed. Let's get it going again. Two WPC dog handlers are on the beat. One says, "I'm cold, I left my panties at the station." The second one says, "Let the dog have a sniff of your pussy and he'll go and fetch them." The Dog returned 20 mins later with her panties, a truncheon, two broom handles and three of the desk sergeants fingers.

Comments

You must be logged in to post comments, please login or signup (free)
11 years ago

what do you call a hooker with a snotty nose?..... Full!

anjinsan
11 years ago

Now on sale at IKEA - Beds for lesbians. No nuts or screwing involved. It's all tongue and groove.

11 years ago

what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lic-o-lot-o-pus.
what do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega-sore-ass.
:)

11 years ago

what green and flys over germany, SNOTZYS

11 years ago

do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste

anjinsan
11 years ago

Good Jokes guys. Anyone got any more? Lets try and keep this going.

11 years ago

Drunk lady stumbles into a bar. She sits down, but everyone is at the other end of the bar watching the game. She hollers down to the bartender and says: "cud I get a dribble Martuni and cud u put a pickle in it? The bartender comes down and makes her a drinky. She bangs it down in 2 minutes and it's the same story all over, "cud u get me another dribble Martuni, and put a pickle in it?". Bartender responds the 2nd time and serves her. 3rd time around, same thing: "Hay bartender, cud u get me another dribble Martuni, but cud u put 2 pickles in it since I'm starting to get heartburn? Bartender hesitates and finally responds: "LOOK LADY, IT'S NOT BEERTENDER, IT'S BARTENDER! IT'S NOT A MARTUNI, IT'S A MARTINI!!!!!!! IT'S NOT A PICKLE, IT'S AN ONION!!!! AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT HEARTBURN, UR LEFT TIT'S IN THE ASHTRAY!!!!!!

11 years ago

a businessman noticed an old woman set up a pretzel stand near his office. so every day the man passing the stand would leave a quarter and not take a pretzel. after about a year he walks by, leaves a quarter and she stops him. he says "i guess you are wondering why i always leave a quarter and never take a pretzel." "no, i just want to tell you they are 35 cents now"

11 years ago

a man moved to a rural town. he had undeveloped land. he started clearing the brush, hauling away rocks,cultivating the soil. he started a big garden. every thing was looking good. after church one sunday he asked the minister to visit his place and see what he had done. so the minister stopped by and took a look at the garden. he said look at those tomatoes and squash, i never seen such beautiful stuff. god had truely blessed this place. that corn and mellons are big and beautiful. the lord has graced this garden. the man got figgitty and said "you should have seen this place when the lord was working by himself."

11 years ago

Two gayboys in an elevator.
First one: Man i am so horny i could fuck a fly on the wall
Second one: sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

11 years ago

Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?

anjinsan
11 years ago

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose ant item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor where the sign says: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. "That's nice," she thinks and continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow!," she thinks, but is compelled to keep going.At the fourth floor the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are very good looking and will help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!", she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" But still she carries on ascending. Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on up to the sixth floor where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owners opened a New Wives Store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited!

11 years ago

This guy starts hanging out at the beach hoping to meet some hot girls but he meets with zero success but on the same beach everyday is a lifeguard who has women hanging over him all the time. Finally frustrated and curious the man asks the lifeguard how it is he has so much success getting women to notice him. The lifeguard replies; “oh that is easy, every day before I head out on the beach I put a banana in my swim trunks”. The man thanks him for sharing his secret and says he will give it a try. A few days pass and the man runs into the lifeguard and says; “I have been trying your banana trick and now the girls notice me but all they do is point at me and laugh, what am I doing wrong?” “Well” the lifeguard says, “for starters you suppose to put the banana in the front of your swim trunks”.

11 years ago

where is mrpenisman? where did he go?

sawndry
11 years ago

Very good joke! lolll

anjinsan
11 years ago

I was at the swimming pool today and had a sneaky piss in the deep end. The Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in!