kyle1991's Blogs

need some advice

kyle1991 Blog Last Activity 11 years ago 677 views 13 comments
so a couple days ago a close friend of mine came out to me on facebook. i had no idea he was also gay. i have never had any romantic thoughts towards him before, mostly because i was sure he was straight and didn't want to hurt our friendship. but tonight he sent me another message, saying that he has feelings for me. now i am confused i'm still not sure if i have romantic feelings towards him, but we have been friends for over 9 years now and i can't think of anyone that i am closer to. i don't want to risk a great friendship but i also don't know if i want to close any romantic doors with him. can anyone offer some advice here?

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11 years ago

my advice would be to date for awhile. hang out and do things. talk about what it means to be gay, coming out, relationships. you will learn in a short time if there is something between you. if not make sure his feelings are the same and seek to play around some. nine years of friendship could make for some interesting sex and may even change your mind as to what kind of feelings you have. have fun with it, enjoy him.

11 years ago

My advice is to ask if he prefers top or botom hahaha

nate88
nate88
11 years ago

You are already friends - expand your friendship now that there is nothing to hide. YOU might be able to help your friend along and NEVER stop being his friend. If love comes - good. If not, you're still friends.

kyle1991
kyle1991
11 years ago

thanks again for all of the great advice everybody :)

11 years ago

hi kyle just 'play it along' as we say in the UK and see how things develop!
best of luck anyway!
Russ.

11 years ago

Just be honest with him at this point and let him know how you feel about him. A friendship is too precious to lose.

onlyinvegas
onlyinvegas
11 years ago

The bottom line to any friendship or romantic friendship or just great friends with benefits is communication. If you clearly state how you feel about the situation then both parties no where each other stand. When he says he has feeling for you try to define if it is just lust and hot crazy sex or something more. That way each others expectation no the boundaries. I have had two great lovers. One for 12 yr. the other for 14yrs. Even after the spilt we have remained best of friends. That is due to communication.

kyle1991
kyle1991
11 years ago

thanks for all of the great comments, i told him honestly that i do not yet know where i stand with my feelings towards him., and let him know that i do and always have cared for him and valued our friendship. so we have decided not to purposefully change anything but then stead just continue to hang out, and have an open line of communication and just see what develops between the two of us naturally...tho swiftjohn, the fuck buddy stuff does sound like a good road to go down :) lol

swiftjohn
swiftjohn
11 years ago

Why care if it's a romantic relationship. There are other types of relationships you can enjoy with him. Fuck Buddy comes to mind. Since you already have a personal connection with him it's so much easier to transition into something more physically intimate. But if you're unsure, just try sucking his dick once. When he starts pumping his sperm into your mouth, the answer to your question will become clear in your mind which way you should go with the relationship. I personally would encourage you to pursue a sexual relationship with him even if it's not romantic. You know him, you like him and trust him or else he wouldn't already be your friend. He's the perfect choice for a monogamous sexual relationship where the two of you can get together often to hang out, go do guy stuff, maybe smoke a joint, watch the game, then get naked, climb into bed and enjoy hot gay sex the way it's meant to be enjoyed - bareback. With all that, who needs romance.

11 years ago

A lot good comments so far, But man this is a tuff one to reply too, part of me says ya give it a go but the other part says this could ruin the friendship that has been built on for nine years. You two really need to sit down and talk about how you feel. I hope it all works out for the both of you,

11 years ago

I'd simply be honest with him ... let him know you consider him a good friend and want that friendship to continue, but you're not sure if you feel romantic towards him. Problem is, if you did get involved with him, and he later felt awkward about it ... or regretted it .. it might destroy your friendship and leave you with nothing. I've seen it happen, so I'd proceed cautiously.

Peter308
Peter308
11 years ago

I'd say give it a go, see what happens. It will either turn out well, or if not you can still remain friends.

Davey1965
Davey1965
11 years ago

Hi Kyle,I bet you were surprised to hear he is Gay. Its quite sad that yourve known each other for 9 whole years and hes only just got the idea of breaking it to you.
He obviously has feelings for you but you dont for him. I think you have to be honest in your answer to him but try not to upset him with your answer.He may have dreamt of being with
you for many years and it could break his heart.
It would be so sad if your friendship broke up because of this situation but who knows,you could develope some feelings for him. So keep that door open for the moment.
Good luck.