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Blog Last Activity 11 years ago 701 views 16 comments
this is my first ever blog, so be nice please:

if your in the closet and say you meet the one guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, would you come out of the closet for this guy, or would you continue to live your life in the closet, and risk destroing your relationship by not coming out, or would you come out and emmbrace your new lease on life?

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11 years ago

This is a tough 1. First off, anyone I met would know I was in the closet, and probably will stay there for life. I am more apt to think that I would find some one with a similar mind set. I do have a few friends who know my lifestyle, but most do not, and I prefer to keep it that way. I don't care how others think of me, but I have children I have to think of first and foremost.

11 years ago

I agree with steesbratt, steesbratt - 2012-11-07 17:14:26
if you want to come out of the closet do it for you! not for someone else. I beleive coming out of the closet is an individual choice and dont think anyone elses opinion is relevent meaning there is no right or no wrong, its a choice. Unfortunately or fortunately (as it turned out) I didnt have a choice after my parents caught me kissing my boyfriend and then called his parents without thinking about the conequenses. Now I can say it was the best thing to happen to me, I am not sure how i would have handled it any other way or whether I would still be in the closet today. Whatever you choose think and plan it dont just jump in with both feet over a boyfriend

11 years ago

i remember being stuck in the closet. the maintencence man had to free me..that damn door.

nate88
11 years ago

Lots of GOOD avice on all fronts. Comeing out can be to 1, a few, a lot or the world with MANY gray areas in between. NO ONE canjudge for you - ONLY YOU know what you want, need, want or don't want. ANY choice, evenif it is no choiceother than to remain as you are will carry consequences. Life sometimes can just SUCK but we must deal with it. It's all your call. You already know it and want support -well you have it with what ever you decide. -Andy

11 years ago

yeah.. this is a tough call. really, i think this sort of thing is what makes being gay so damn frustrating!! love should be so simple. but, it never is. all i can say is follow your heart. and make sure this is really love and not infatuations..
hey scott, im a country boy here in oklahoma!! sending a req to you.. redneck to redneck!!

fungus320
11 years ago

Go for it if he the right one. Otherwise you may spend your life asking yourself (what if)

11 years ago

i havent met any one yet guys i was just wondering what your thoughts on this would be, and some great help and advice as well, thanks guys

11 years ago

Seems like a no brainer to me, come out of the closet, but to each there own we all of different values and in the end the decision would be yours. For me I can think of nothing more important as a lifelong relationship with somone I love, no price is to much to pay, including coming out of the closet.

11 years ago

Come out of the closet Scott - ask him to show u his cock (alwys a dead giveaway in my experince) and whethr he likes top or bottom.
Cant imagin being in the closet for life

11 years ago

I don't get the "come out of the closet" thing. I'm not "out", as I say on my profile, if you REALLY know me, you'll know I'm gay, thats all that matters to me. Probably easy to say since I don't have a lover/boyfriend, but even if I did, I don't think I would change - people (and family) could accept I have a boyfriend and just get over it, or they can forget being a friend of mine - that's the way I see it anyway. BTW, I'm very comfortable as I am, but would soooo love to share my life with another guy.

11 years ago

Wow, this is a very deep and profound question. I am not sure I can give you he adivice you need. I would say the advice below from Tolead is the most genuine and thoughtful you will ever get. I am what is considered middle aged and still not openly "out" not from fear or anything but from my own internal conflicts. A few close friends know and my Gay friends know but by and large no one else. I dont know if I will ever be fully OUT

11 years ago

Scott....the advice below is very on point. The first closet you come out of, is the one you are in by yourself. So as stees says it is for you, not another person. But that is really about self-acceptance of who you are...and being comfortable in your own skin as a gay man. The second closet to come out of is the one where you share that with another person...whether as you have done here on GBT or with a person you care about. You will never have that person in your life if you don't let them know your authentic real self. and as lagabyable asks, is this person out to you as a gay man...if the answer is yes...RD thought of sharing with him about you without going to the attraction conversation is the first step....then time will tell if the pieces fall together. If you do not know his orientation, but feel safe in sharing yours...that is still the first step...it may not go any further than a friendship...but it will be a real friendship based in honesty and authenticity. And it does carry the risk if the person cannot accept that part of you....

I know...I didn't answer the question...and I probably confused the issue...I hope not...for we have been friends for quite a while...and I do so want you to find the happiness that you deserve....Thomas

steesbratt
11 years ago

if you want to come out of the closet do it for you! not for someone else. I beleive coming out of the closet is an individual choice and dont think anyone elses opinion is relevent meaning there is no right or no wrong, its a choice. Unfortunately or fortunately (as it turned out) I didnt have a choice after my parents caught me kissing my boyfriend and then called his parents without thinking about the conequenses. Now I can say it was the best thing to happen to me, I am not sure how i would have handled it any other way or whether I would still be in the closet today. Whatever you choose think and plan it dont just jump in with both feet over a boyfriend

lagayable
11 years ago

I am also still in the closet so this question is pretty relevant... If i meet the right person and i really fall for him, in all likely hood the chances of me coming out now as opposed to in the next few months or years increases a LOT! I presume u are saying the guy u meet is also gay? ... but in the end of the day , take the risk... and live with the consequences or dont take the risk and dont live.... awesome first blog... cheers xx

11 years ago

I suggest taking a bit of a risk. There are ways to tell somebody that you're interested in him as more than just a friend, without instantly coming totally Out. It is sort of testing the water just a little bit. If you never say anything at all, then you don't stand a chance of ever having any sort of long term relationship.