zacjohn's Blogs

stop thinking about your split mind....throw god away...and enjoy live....and be good to others....damn its YOUR life

lol@stees ;) :P better to cut to the chase than read a blog in a years time bout some 17 yo kid who has been tourtured by religius loons tryin to turn him str8 cause he thought dudes like Zac were for real.

Great words Thomas, and Damien, I always love the way you sugarcoat everything lol

zac is just a religus loon trying to cause trouble - u cn say whatever u like to him he is just gonna say "god says its wrong - oh and he's the number of my pastor who runs converstion classes to turn u straight" - anyon who cant see wht this dickhead is upto is a bigger dickhead

Zac, a couple of points. First, your counter to the two fundamental things you bring up are 1. God says its wrong and 2. Someone or thing made you gay. Both of those are not facts. They are beliefs. You choose to believe in a religion and god that says its wrong. And you believe you were made gay, so god is not responsible. Those are not facts. Those are beliefs and not matter what anyone says to the contrary, you refute it with your beliefs. Therefore it is just a circular argument about what I believe versus what you believe.

In addition, you site facts, straight people don't do this...gay people don't have relationships that last. I don't know where you get your data, but your facts are not correct. I site talking to 100's of gay guys and all they wanted was sex. Well if you go to porn sites and hook up sites, I would assume that is what you would find. Duh...that doesn't make all gays only into hookups. While I would love to be able to have a real dialogue with you, the arguments you make are not conducive to a dialogue.

You say you are gay and want to change. So as stees says, stay miserable by denying who and what you are or choose to accept it and build the life you want around it. You own your life, not anyone else. But the choice is yours.

Zac, if you dont think straight couple cam go on the internet to cam 4 .com tons of people are straight couple camming, there you will also see straight couples having all the same kinds of sex that gay people engage in including anal sex. My bf and I have been together for 5 years since we were 17 yrs old and camming is something we both like to do its no different than watching another couple in a porn vid, which earlier I beleive you said was one of the good things about this site was the porn. You are wrong thinking being gay is not a choice having gay sexual relationships and looking at porn is a choice. Zac even if you beleive it is something that happens in childhood that makes you gay (which I think is false) the only part you have a choice with is choosing to act on it or not. The point you bring up about what makes you gay happens to 1000s of people in early life and they turn out straight. I choose not to live a fucked up repressive life and embrace my gay self. I hope one day you are able to embrace your true self and see how wonderful your gay life can be rather than how miserable you can make life by denying yourself.

@ steesbratt : i dont think its normal thing when u have a boyfriend u start doing cam sex with others, these thing you cant find in straight relationship. which is prove my point its about the sex
how long have u been togather ?
and the god thing , yes god dosent make mistakes, but i think we are gays due to our or other people mistakes. i believe we are not born gays or even we didnt chose to be gays, but there is a somthing happen during our childhood or teens that turn us like this e.g rape , non loving father , mother that care too much, sexaul thing with a friend. ...

@zacjohn: Just because people have preferences or attractions that does not mean that it is just sex for them, sometimes you meet people for sex and sometimes you make a connection and love is formed it is not the same for everyone. There has to be an attraction either way to get started. Some people have no interest in relationships and just want sex that is their choice. For me I was and am very lucky I met the boy of my dreams while we were very young and made a commitment early in our relationship to be faithful, but that does not mean we cant look at our attractions on here or anywhere else for that matter. We also cam with other similar couples on occasions and that is just sex for us and not love. Without sounding redundent professer put it way better than I can consider the time the word of God was written and then interperated into a 1000 different meanings to suit the individual or his religious beliefs. As someone once said to me God created him as a gay person and God dosen"t make mistakes.

@cutkwi : i try to follow the religion as much as i can, i never do anything that will effect a human and there is big diffrence between lying and gay sex in the term of sins
@ steesbratt : thats a really good question my friend, well i didnt meet anybody, but lets say i had a wake up call and i releised that god is there and everything he said is ment for a reason. while chatting with more that 100 guys all over the years i noticed that everyone need the sex. i dont see a relationship will work, and 99% of guys -to prove my point- they have a certain category, like the boy should be young and smooth or hairy or samll cock .... , its not love , its sex

Zac, when did this change for you? your feelings about being gay seem to be pretty recent and you seemed pretty comfortable with yourself when you wrote your previous blog 212 days ago.

"i am new in germany , aachen , and i would love to meet young boys"

What happened to change the way you feel about yourself???

once gay always gay not your fault you just gonna have to deal with it

Somethin inside u tellin u what u r doin is wrong.
Funny how the followin things from the bible dont make u feel u r doing anything wrong - not giving all yr money to the poor, playing with a football made out of pigskin, not forgiving enemies, lying, worshiping popular culture images, swearing etc etc - but i guess religious loons joining gay websites with fake profies to shitstirr get a bit selective dont they?

@ steedbratt, thanx man and i understand what u mean, but there is somthing inside me that is telling me thats what i am doing is wrong. there is the guilty feeling its really hard to explain

thanx all

@damien lol

Again I hesitate on commenting on religious beliefs of others but here goes (please dont kill me in my sleep) for those of you who are into quoting the bible I simply wish to remind you that the bible as we know it today has been re-written over and over through out history. With each re-telling of the story subtle changes have been made to suit the changing views of the church at the time. Remember GOD didnt invent the Xerox machine till recently. The bible is a facinating piece of litrature but you cant simply use it as a set in stone rule book. It has parables each person can read it and glean different meanings. Or you can look at it as being a work of historical fiction based on the time it was written. I do believe in GOD but I DO NOT believe the bible as written today is his untarnished word, too many religious zelots have added their two cents worth over the centuries. Again I urge you to seek a councellor who can help you find the issues that are making you unhappy ( they may have nothing to do with your feeling of homosexuality) and help you fix the problems. I fear this may be symptoms of a deeper problem like clinical depression which if left untreated can worsen

Steesbratt u r right bout how things hve changed. Bak then - as u say - a woman committed adultery and was stoned; compare that with today - now a women gets stoned first then commits adultery :P

zacjohn you mention the bible and I assume you are quoting the passage that says a man laying with another man is an abonimation and calls for stoning to death, if you read on further of that same chapter it also states an adultress should be stoned to death and a child that disobey's their parents should also be stoned to death. Now I think the majority of people in the world dont beleive the last 2 but for some reason the religious right want to hang on the 1st one. We have to remember the bible was written and translated many years ago when they didnt know any better, people also beleived the world was square. Another bible quote tells us we shouldent eat shellfish, and many beleived the only way to Gods heart was a human sacrafice. So we need to put all these quotes ans passages into perspective of the time and understand that as man has evolved we are a lot smarter today than at that time. Its strange how people take the things that suit them and use others to condem people. Zacjohn, its not always easy to accept your are gay, but if you hate yourself today for being gay chances are you will hate yourself for something if you were staraight. In life, gay or straight we have to learn to love ourselves before we can love anyone else and accept ourselves. I truly wish you comfort and acceptance of your struggle because life can be very beautiful being a gay person if you let it. Good luck

Its no big deal, It's not a big issue anymore get over it the rest of us have if people dont accept you for who you are then there not worth knowing in the first place

@ jasechase : how ? its human thing that need sex , need a partner !
@ swiftjohn : i respect u and respect ur believes , but i belieeve in god and i beleive when god say somthing its better for us but i really cant see this thing in my "gay thing "
@ onlyinvegas : this is the thing i cant accept myself, so how my family and my friends will accept me
@arick1993 : the only thing that i can see about gay life is all about sex, i never tried hard sex but i tried oral, i cant see a real relationship, even data shows that gay peoeple who have a real relationship for for than 5 years are 5% which is really low !! , and also because of god , he said gay sex is forbidden and i understand he love gays but as soon they do gays sex they are out and it's really impossible to have a healthy life without sex.
@tolead : the thing is somtimes i think its not god and its not my fault to. , i think its the way i was raised "not loving father"
@rando: can u pm and tell how i can control it because i spend most of my day just thinking about this stuff about my life where i will be in 5 years , all the time in the train , work, before i sleep , its really killing me, sometimes i just smoke weed so i can sleep.
@ lilmanjeep i dont think we born , its somthig that happend during our teens or before that changed us, the gay gen still not found
@ professorbuttpoker : can u share ur story with me pm please
@ lagayable: i disagree mate sorry
@ simonxxx its not about ashamed embrace , its more than that as i explained before.
cgreer give me a break man
alanwilly : i dont want to involve anyone in this

thanx all

@alanwilly....new or old, comments are always appreciated. The ability to share our experiences to provide someone with help and knowledge is why the blogs exist in part. So don't ever hesitate to add to the discussion.

perhaps I shouldnt comment here since I am new, but I agree with everyone with the exception of those who tell you to fuck as many as you can find. I knew I was gay from early on. This caused much stress in my house and lead to me running away. My father thought he could beat the gayness out of me and make me into a man. After one very nasty night when I was 13 I just left. I am thankful that I have a socialworker/councellor named Cecilia who has helped me. I believe one of the guys below suggested you speak to a councellor and I fully reccomend it. If she hadnt helped me I would never have survived