steesbratt's Blogs

Boyfriend

steesbratt Blog Last Activity 11 years ago 662 views 10 comments
As some of you know my bf of 5 yrs asked me to marry him. It was really cute what he did, we have an advent box that you can put things in for everyday up until December 24th. He hid the ring in the 24th so when I opened it expecting a candy or a small gift there was a ring with a note asking me to marry him. Of course I said yes, so now I am saving for a ring for him (Thank god for Christmas money yay)and saving for a trip to NY so we can tie the knot. The only problem I have is my dad who has always completely accepted I was gay and been very supportive to both Misha and me is very against us marrying and wont give me a reasonable answer as to why, I thought if I left it a few days he would come around, I just called him (he lives in UK) and he was the coldest I have ever known him to be. I have always been very close to my dad and most would say spoilt even though there is a huge distance in miles between us so this is kind of a shock to me my mom said give him time but he seems worse now than when I told him on Christmas day and I dont know how to handle his rejection of my plans to marry Misha?

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steesbratt
steesbratt
11 years ago

I think what Peter said makes a lot of sense my mom left my dad when i was 9 and decided to return to her homeland when I was 11 yrs old, even though I have spent every summer and many holidays with my dad in the UK I think he still sees me as a young boy and while 22yrs is still young to be getting married we have been together for 5yrs which i feel is long enough to know you are ready to make a marriage commitment. I am not angry or upset with my dad who I love very much I am just a little confused that he could go from being totally supportive to being so adamantly against my marrying Misha (who incidently he loves like a son)

BackStreetBoy
BackStreetBoy
11 years ago

Hi Stees. I read you blog very carefully and also answers you got, my opinion is that if you make summaries of all excellent answers here it'll be much easier for you to understand your situation and maybe let time calm down...a couple of months of waiting in your timeline right now is so short that propably result after that is much grateful than making decisions now urgently and with unenviable results...Hugs BSB

11 years ago

Hi Stees -

Congrats about your impending wedding. Best wishes for a happy future together. Sorry about your father, but weddings always seem to require at least one family member on one side or the other to misbehave (regardless of the type of wedding). It always seems to work out eventually. Enjoy your special day with Misha and don't let the negative BS distract you too much.

11 years ago

Stees, I can only imagine the feelings you are going through right now. Acceptance by ones parents is a primal thing that we all need and want. Sometimes it just isnt in the cards. I have a feeling that he just isnt ready for you to be married yet. He most likely still thinks of you as a child as most parents do. ( no matter how old you get) My advice is to simply tell him that you Love Misha and you plan to marry him and you would like his blessing but with or without it you are moving on. If he doesnt want to be a part of your lives then that is his choice and he will have to live with his mistake. I have a feeling he will come around. It is most likely shock that his little boy is growing up. Give him time and dont make more of this than it needs to be.

letsGO
letsGO
11 years ago

stees, it's YOUR life not his, i hope you do what YOU think is best for YOU, love is between 2 peeps not just a girl n boi, i wish you the best and please enjoy NY, big hugs, b

onlyinvegas
onlyinvegas
11 years ago

You can only control in your life that you have control over. No amount of pressure will make someone think the way you want them to think. As much as you want your pops to be cool with it you most take care of your own ... which is you and your lover. The rest will have to understand and fall in line. Live your life as best you can. I hope you understand what I'm saying to you... best of luck continue to move forward in your life

11 years ago

Stees...I can feel the hurt as you wrote those words. I wish I had words that would make it go away. I agree with canadaman and RD that you need to do what is right for you. And, perhaps with a little more time, your father will find the way to accept and support you in your marriage. Sometimes it takes a parent a little time to find the words and the place for change. But first you must take care of you and of Misha. And as the time grows closer for you to tie the knot, you can again ask you father to be a part of the most important thing in your life....and the answer may be the same as today...that will be his loss, not yours. But, with the passage of time, he may find that his love for you is greater than whatever his feelings are today on the subject. Hugs and my love to you...Thomas

11 years ago

It culd b that he has reasons that r not what u think - maybe he thnks u r to young to marry; maybe he wants u to wait until u r in yr career; maybe he is relly rich an aint told u an is worryd bout "succession issues"; mayb he is a 'little Englander" an dont want u marryin someone 'foreign' :P (joke!); maybe he is worryd bout a divorce (like him an yr mum) but yeh i reckon its prob a reason that aint morality - especilly if he wont give u a reasonable answer why.

11 years ago

I completely agree with canadaman.

11 years ago

Stephen ... although it's disappointing that your Dad won't come around (maybe he was deluding
himself into thinking you were Bi .. and would "switch sides" eventually ?? Hard to say .. ) it's not
your responsibility to make him happy. You need to make yourself happy, first and foremost !!
I'd suggest just pushing this issue aside and press on with your plans. You are very lucky to find
someone who wants to share his life with you, so enjoy what eludes many of us (me included.) !!