SunnyTeenBoy4ymaster's Blogs

. . . w o r d s don´t come easy...the 19.day of month = a special date & why I so hard (just 4 clearing!) to some (user) here...

SunnyTeenBoy4ymaster Blog Last Activity 12 years ago 742 views 2 comments
First of all...when you are just here for having Fun then that´s totally ok - really!
From my recherching about `GAYBOYSTUBE´ I also find that the `Blogs´ here get interested by other weBmaster and weBsurfer who visit `GBT´ even for downloading complete days of the `Blog´...
That Background & the actually happenings here´in & between user of `GBT I feel like to do something , what I normally would´t have done...And with the help of Jesus I hope to find the right words...where words don´t come easy,because it´s very,very emotional...

SO - iF YOU DiSLiKE FiNDiNG HERE NOW SERiOUS & ALSO VERY SAD THAUGHTS...BETTER STOP!

Ok...starting...
19. SeptemBer this year JAMEY (James)R. from Williamsville near Buffalo (NY) was found by his parents in front of their house - in the night from 18. to 19.09.11
he decided to go out from his young life...JAMEY only reaching the age of 14 !...
And still my tears for & about him - and I am not shamed to tell that I just cying again...May be there is the question why that touched me so deeply...
JAMEY posted his last words also at my social-network (twitter&tumblr)...really just before I see his vid from 04. of May´11 `It get´s Better , I promise´posted at
`youtube´...I see this & say to myself `really good to come out´ even he told that he felt so supported by his family & friends even he have been Bullied again & again in his school (by the way HE STIL GET BULLiED AFTER HiS DEATH!...
I was thinking about JAMEY´s ComingOut-vid then I find another posting at tumblr where a young guy - a member of our social network - suicided...and it was JAMEY Rodemeyer (account still alive = `hausofjamey´ & at youtube `xgothemo99xx´ because his parents decided to hold the accounts for remembering JAMEY and his story...)
In the night he have posted his last words (may be only some minutes before...)in his social-networks WHO HE FELT HOME - but inhis real Life he have felt HOMELESS...
But unfortunantly NOONE understand his askings & appels for finding REAL HELP...
His postings are still to find in his accounts - reaaly well done decicision of his family so it´s not needed for replying by me here.But let me tell some examples of his practise-doing at youtube...So he talk in one vid about that men should can marry in ALL states of America - a 14 y.o. Boy made his thaughts about that!
His biggest idol have been `Lady Gaga´ and she & him have had a special connection:
in his absolut last words he posted `thank you Lady Gaga for what u have done even for me´ (JAMEY have been one of her little monsters...) & Lady Gaga get the information of that from many of us...and in the next days she twittert how really sad she was & she decided to contact even Barack Obama (she gives much money for his political Being...)But what make Lady Gaga really authentic notonly to me that in her next Live-Concert (23.09.11 in Las Vegas) she gave TriBute to & for JAMEY with her song `Hair´...From that mom I become a `LadyGaga-Fan´ too..
JAMEY changed my Life...He learned me being just more open to my next even I feel strange to her or to him.I know from myself that I very fast deciding for to say yes or no to something & someone...
So what have that to do with `GayBoysTube´?!...
In this time a other `Freshman´ as a user here find my interesting...he was very lovely & buisy also in ´`LGBT´´-working especially insuicide-prevention for he a presenting a special telephone-nr. inhis profile...He also told that he have many friends & all loving him...mmmh
On one side I really dislike his art of acting may be misusing a very serios thematic for winning friends , what ever that really mean in the result...
On the other side I worry about him...JAMEY have also be very concentrated in himself...somedays feeling like a star & hero(he sings `The Edge ofGlory´ & `Born this Way´) & on other days he felt like a NoBody and total wothless & much depressed!
And therefor in my personal recherching of the Backgrounds of JAMEY and many other young Gay-Teenagers - what always have been similar that ALL have wanted SOMEONE SPECiAL of the specials...but not get & given the chance for JUST BEiNG HiMSELF...
So in my eyes & opinion the Best suicide-prevention is ACCEPTiNG MYSELF(YOURSELF)!!
But the reality especially in the `GAY-Szenes´telling already Teenager that you get accepted with perfect looking and optimal = having a monster-cock & a tight horny ass...In Gay-Szenes ALL around the world there is not much place for ya Heart & Soul!WE ARE ALL(!) RESPONSiBiL FOR OUR ACTiNG & FOR OUR NOT ACTiNG...The feeling in being REDUCED iN (HOMO-)SEXUALiTY MUST STOP!!And the Best everyone started with himself...MY DREAM & ViSiON AT & FOR ALL IS THAT WE DONOT NEED TO SEPERATE OURSELFS ANYMORE...and if gay or not is not important anymore...only the real personality without any masks & douBle.Lifes (=BuBBle-Gum)

My vision of `BarBados-Life´ is ofcourse an utopie...BUT IT COULD BECOME MORE & MORE TRUE IF I AM WILLING TO CHANGE IT...in that moment when I really decide TO CHANGE MYSELF & ME...then I change also `the world´ around me...
always knowing that NOONE IS ONLY GOOD OR BAD...we are ALL both...
AND JESUS LOVES REALLY ALL(!) HIS CHILDREN
mostly all churches misusing in his name!!
The `FairyTale´of what for `hells´what ever
is misused for having Power about the people
but you can find priests who are really with...

Thank you - thank you JAMEY - you know
I promise that ya way of Life will live
further through me & many other who feel
open for to follow...

Thank you ALL...
may be it give you the `friendly kick´
for changing your Life...
just BEiNG YOURSELF

noone can´t live the Life of yours...;-)

Comments

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12 years ago

There are more out than in!

12 years ago

You are the Biggest Phony on this site- go take DISis4U and yourself back to the Real World, and don't come back, EVER...........................................................................................