castanho's Blogs

I'm 30 and one of my best friends is 18. We tell each other things that we won't tell other people. My oldest friend is 75.

it all goes on how it looks to those who are extreme on the topic. Most of those people are haters of love, young love, or hate seeing people who are in love. Love happends at ANY AGE! you can be 10 years old, and someone who's 5 can fall in love with you (you obviously become friends) growing up, hanging out etc. You can be 15 and someone falls in love with you then who is 10. The sequential mathematics go on. But in that equation falls that negative integer of those who just think negative about age limit. Once you reach that age of consent or legality. 18, and the one you fell in love with is still five years younger, they immediately throw that legal age thing down. I live in a place where people (straight) who have had babies with those who had just TURNED 18. and they are way older then myself. in their 30's 40's 50's. So who's to say what? Love happends spontaneously, not on a given time frame for those to just be waiting, and waiting, and waiting wasting their life away. Love starts at any age. No matter what! Age should not matter. if it does, than you fall into that category of miserables who just say it's "wrong" and dont really see the feelings that these ones who want to just go with their feelings regardless of their ages.

The age difference may not be a factor in the younger years. For instance one may be 45 and the other 30 and things are fine. But as they become older 45 and 60, you need to be cognizant of age related illness.There was a 13 year age difference between my partner and I, him being older. And then a sudden onset of early Alzheimer's set in. He was gone in just a few short years. And I am alone again. It's the worst feeling in the world.

my friend and lover is 15 years older than me.

LongLong - Congratulations. You just resumed in a few lines a very deep problem and pointed, making clear the causes, effects and pointing solutions.
I agree 100% with you. Everyone from born has its life cycle. Boyish today, adolescent tomorrow, growing adult and then decreasing again till runs out of life. Is a very realistic approach of life.
Remember that 1000 years ago a 40 years old was a very old man nearly to die.
So life stages are quite subjective. I was seeing Pasolini film “Decameron”, and others like “Cantebury” , Satiricon”, Arabian Nights” (if you would like to watch them and cannot get it contact me).
In societies the YOUNG comes as a sign of vitality for the OLD. Makes pleasure and company, shares moments of lust and war.
I agree that today youth does not see the relation like that (don’t ask me why?). In old Greece as also was told in this blog post the relations with young’s were seen as normal and healthy.
The Eastern society, full of Puritanism turned all upside-down. If you are caught with a non 18 YO u go to jail. Well, the Puritanism go on and the Vatican has been in front of major cases that shows that Puritanism is outside the real human nature.

Dear friends.
As I am no native English speaker, forgive my mistakes.
I am sure everything is possible. It depends on the characters and how free they live. As some guys said before, your age is not important. It´s just a number. Think about Christopher Isherwood who met the love of his life when he was 48 and his new friend was 17 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Isherwood)

There are so much regulations in our modern society that forces people into so called „good and healthy behaviour” instead of living a true healthy life. Healthy life in my opinion is living without fear. Fear of getting older and not being attractive anymore, for example.
Everybody on this planet wants to be loved and want real friends. And if we have no family, we have to create our families. Every young hot dude will be an „old fart” one day ;) Don´t forget that.

When I contact younger people - no matter if online or in reality - it does not mean „just sex” at first place. (perhaps I do not have enough words to explain exactly what I mean…)

It can be just sex, but it also can be having some fun, drinking a cold beer. We have to free our minds!
When I was young I also cared for older people (and I still do that!) - it´s so easy to make their day by just being honest and friendly; I was not only hunting for hot cocks, because I always knew - one day I will be the old guy. I would be happy when my young friends are still around me when I am really old one day - LOL.

By the way, this is really a nice place. Some really nice guys here :) Thanks!


http://www.altfg.com/blog/directors/chris-and-don-tina-mascara-guido-santi-interview/

TheBurrhead - You say "live each day" and I agree. However in this post a lot of implicit questions are discussed:1) partnership for short or long periods:; 2) friendship with a deeper intensity like love or compromise; 3) A relation based in mutual interests, which of course are different in each stage of life and final 4) Harmony between two persons with different vital strength and capabilities, including intellectual. So in this debate several friends brought up their points of view what makes even interesting the theme.

just LOVE, LAUGH, and LIVE my friends! - Brillo

As has been said, a relationship - whether it be friendship or something more - can happen between two people, irrespective of their ages (or, anything else), assuming that both folks are open to the experience. I've known a large number of couples (gay and straight) where one partner was quite a bit older than the other, and I mean couples that have been together for 10-years or more.

Isidore mentioned the younger-older relations among the ancient Greeks. There’s a really good scholarly book on it (K.J.Dover, Greek Homosexulity) with illustrations, mostly from erotic pots. When homosexuality was a sin and a crime in England the depiction of ‘Greek Love’, aka pederasty (paedos, boy and erastes, now horribly confused with paedophilia) was a way of showing that it was not just an English vice (though to the French le vice anglais is flagellation), but something practiced by the much admired Ancient Greeks and Romans. The notion was a bit over-indulged as if there were no straight Greeks. A normal progression seems to have been: youth has boyfriend, youth becomes adult, marries, has a family but continues to enjoy boys and youths. Meanwhile his first boyfriend becomes a youth, takes a boy etc etc. One striking thing is that on all the pots I’ve ever seen, the younger is without an erection as if it wasn’t accepted that the boy could enjoy as well. GBT is better than pottery. Oh and the sex was usually intercrural, (between the legs). Enjoy.

Some great posts on this blog and very thought provoking.A lot of rationalised thinking and objectivity - thanks guys it makes great reading.Having had a younger partner myself I can relate to much of this.Would I do it all again (have a young(er) partner) - you bet !!

That's a really interesting post, @Amyntas43. Yes, the fact is that the younger man will usually outlive the older one (except in sad cases like @TheBurrhead's - thanks so much for sharing that with us Brillo). But what quite often happens is that the surviving partner, himself now elderly, finds a younger guy, in a sense 'passing the torch' of love between the generations.

Well I know of two couples who met when one was 50 and the other 20, and they are now 80 and 50 (more or less). Perhaps love predominates rather than sex now, but they still 'make love'. There is a great sadness looming though as one will one day have to bury the other and then perhaps live out long lonely years. You may be right in another post (Is sex a compromise?) to suggest that maybe a long-term loving relationship and sex should be kept separate, although I think that is rather sad. One needs to allow for the diversity of love and sex. An older/ younger relationship may not last forever, but if it lasts for a few months or years it can be fulfilling and 'part of life's rich tapestry'. Infidelity is terrible, but 'sequential monogamy' can bring a wealth of pleasure. People change over time and hateful globalisation may put continents between them Each of us needs to find out what he wants. For some sex is best in a long term relationship; for others, sex is something you have to do whenever and wherever. 'Friendship with benefits' has a lot for it, where it is the friendship which holds two together, but recognising each others sexual needs, they will satisfy them without being in love or jealous or exclusive.
I should have added to my rather romantic earlier post, that our sexual desires are all different and finding one's particular turn-ons is exciting. There are many on this site who are older and want younger (or vice versa) and their relationship (if they canfind each other) may be purely physical. No criticism of that from me.
As you have said, society is very coercive and judgmental. I agree with my friend Terence (Roman comedy writer, 2nd century BC): homo sum, nil humani a me alienum puto: I am a human being. I think nothing that humans do is unnatural

Of course it's possible, age is just a number. Most of the guys on this blog are older, like me. I'd like to hear from some younger guys on this blog. Do they realize that us "old farts" can be good friends or maybe even lovers?

Yes Amyntas, Isidore made a very good synthesis of the situation. However there is a point not clarified. Are we talking about a compromise between two persons to share a life? Are we saying that love can exist and be cultivated among them for long? Speaking about sex I can imagine a relation without troubles with ages in the 50/60 referring to the old one but after that age will the younger 30 – 40 will stay faithful to its partner?

I think that Isidore the wise has it right, again. Love and friendship develop across the age groups often from chance encounters and shared interests, and sex is a fulfilling part but not the whole and may not even have been on the horizon at the outset. It is a gay thing. Would any older lover refer to his younger friend as a toyboy? I've had some really deep friendships over the years with legal teens and a bit older, not always sexual. Maybe it will happen again.

lovemaking is the bonus that comes from true love. sex is for recreational pleasure that anyone can do...even by themselves.

love or friendship or both, doesnt matter where in the world you are, the friends I have made on here are close to my heart, they have my love and affection always, scott

Hey I’m so happy to read this blog... yes intergenerational relationship are possible and can last like any other type of relationship. And thanx a lot Brill for your story. It’s a very sad one but also very inspiring...

People should just be respective to one another and themselves and responsible.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about that Burrhead...

100% agree