sooboy's Blogs

experiences after comimg out

sooboy Blog Last Activity 9 years ago 451 views 3 comments
<p>I have a few questions for guys who have come out about some things I and my boyfriend have seen and experienced. The first thing and the one that bothers me the most is that a really good friend that I grew up with and went to school with and spent a lot of time with has stopped coming around now. I'm not sure if his girlfriend is causing this or it's his feelings about me being gay as she seemed really cold towards me last time I stopped over at his palce. Anyway I miss him not being around as we used to do a lot together like hunting fishing and stuff. I tried to explain I was the same guy as before but I thinks he's having a hard time accepting I'm gay. When we were kids we sometimes jacked off together in a fort we'd built but nothing else and from what I have heard talking to others this is very common and doesn't mean anything really. But anyway I miss my friend and wish I could say something that would make him ok with who I am and he could still be a part of my life. Should I just accept he's not going to be able to deal with me being gay ya think? Did anyone else loose straight friends when they came out? As I typed that just now is seemed like a dumb question I know.</p>
<p>The other thing is my boyfriend Jordan and I have started hanging out with some other young gay people some of them couples and some not. It seems that because we are gay there is this idea for some people anyway that we want to have sex with anyone else who happens to be gay. Even whan we expalin we are a couple they don't seeem to want to accept that. Also they keep talking about how great sex is while taking painkillers as they say you last longer. Is all this pretty common or are these just some really strange people? This is still pretty new to

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gm4yngr
gm4yngr
9 years ago

It is sad that your good friend from school is having trouble accepting that you're gay. His girlfriend may have asked him not to see you as much, she may feel threatened by you. I don't know if she realizes how dedicated you are to Jordan. Have you ever gone on a double date with them? Maybe if you and Jordan had a couples night with them they would realize that you just want to be friends. If she saw the difference in how you act towards your bf and her bf, that might help. It's a complicated situation for sure. As for your other gay friends hitting on you, maybe you could divert their attention towards single guys (like me, hehe). On the subject of painkillers, don't take them, they can be addictive. Whenever anybody mentions them (or any drugs as a way to increase sexual pleasure), just tell them that only true love will provide the ultimate of sexual pleasure!

Grundlebunny
Grundlebunny
9 years ago

Males are promiscuous by nature. And gays, historically being sexual "outlaws," often don't feel constrained by the greater culture's mores regarding monogamy, and will often assume that other gays don't, either. When I first got into a relationship (24 years and counting...), it took me awhile to shift mental gears about that, myself. What I'm saying is that the mindset you're seeing from these other people is pretty common, so you need to be prepared for it. As for the drugs, a certain subset of the gay community always seems to be inclined toward that. When I first became sexually active in the 1980s, "poppers" were the thing. I'd recommend avoiding that sort of thing. Sex is great enough as-is.

9 years ago

Haven't gone through the first issue. As far as your second item, there are some gays who are in loving, long term, monogamous relationships, and who have great sex with needing any artificial stimulant. If that describes your boyfriend and you, then congratulations. Do your best to make it clear to other gays that you might meet who you two are and how you feel. If it were me, and they persisted, I'd drop seeing him/them.