lht253's Blogs

Just put it out in the open in brutal but empathetic conversation - what he needs, what you need, what his limits are, what your limits are. His situation might be easy to understand even if it's complex. If he likes smoking weed then the more desperate he feels the more likely he is to turn to weed as a way of not having to deal with the hopelessness. That can't be underestimated, and if it's kept under control might actually be helping him alleviate some pain. There's also the fact that weed isn't actually a big deal usually. If it was harder drugs it would be more complicated. At the same time, being stoned a lot of the time will perhaps be partially the cause of his situation. So it's a vicious cycle.

But you'll have your parameters, and your own stresses. I'd suggest making those plain to him. If there's a bit of emotional blackmail going on because of the long term friendship, don't let his problems have the higher ground. I've dealt with loads of people immersed in drugs and they have a way of making you feel like you're the asshole. Don't let that happen. Everyone is equal. At the same time, I've found that saying 'no more drugs' isn't helpful either. I don't mean that preachily. God knows I've done my own share of getting totally off my face on something or other in this moment or that.

If he really is a good friend you feel responsible for maybe allow some space for him to smoke weed when it helps, but spelling out some limits to that, or physical spaces in the house, or in the backyard, for that, because you have rights as well.

If it's a situation where you're out on a limb to help him but feel you can't have limits he respects then you're being imposed upon. If there's no meeting ground where he'll ease up on the pot or restrict it to certain times or places then I'd say you're within your rights to say that, whatever the friendship, you can't just have the piss taken out of you.

The problem is if I ask him to leave I know his got nowhere to go his been a long time friend and when he moved in here he was living under a bridge

I would kick him out and change the locks I have done it a few times with room mates

I can understand people not wanting drugs in their house. Not that drugs are so terrible, but some households have an ethos where it's not allowed.

It would make more sense if smoking wasn't allowed, if the tobacco smoke in joints and the smell over the furniture might be a problem. Not allowing smoking makes more sense to me than not allowing drugs, as long as the person doing them has it under control and only does it recreationally here and there.

welcome to reality, get acquainted with lies, you'll be told them practically every day of your life. And you'll probably tell a few yourself.

He shouldn't have lied to you. Make him understand that you do not want to put yourself at risk legally. It's a very fair and understandable request. However, as long as he is truly sorry, I think he deserves a second chance because it's just pot. It will be legal most everywhere in the free world in several years. Just tell him he has to keep it in his car or somewhere off of your property and if he tries it again you will evict him.

Breaking house rules is bad, lying is worse. Two weeks is plenty of time for him to find a new place to live. Just keep an eye on your possessions until you get your locks changed. People who lie generally tend to be the type who will not have a problem with stealing also.

thanks guys

yeah you don't want that shit in your house, your just as liable for it when it comes down to the nit and gritty the cops don't care who owns it, and it just invites thieves to come in and steal your shit.Give him his notice to vacate the house. Beside like you said he lied and that's enough.

The proper resolution is to give him 2 weeks to find other living arrangements.

You must have made that rule for a reason..Honesty is important and if u just think u dont care then why did u make that house rule

That's what I think usainindia but I don't know if I can trust him anymore

To me, the foundation of any friendship is honesty and truthfulness.