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LGBT, Aging, Depression and Worse.

Blog Last Activity 9 years ago 472 views 14 comments
<p>More often than not, the focus in the gay community and the media is on the prevention of bullying, and preventing young gay people from committing or contemplating suicide.  This is a good thing and should be addressed.  But you know what?  I see practically nothing in media or even general conversation addressing concerns of LGBT older individuals, and the problems that come with aging.  The fact is that older LGBT DO have a higher incidence of depression, lonliness, and suicide (whether contemplated or realized).  There are a few programs (there is one in the city where I live currently), but getting nowhere near the attention that it should.  I often feel that the LGBT culture is so obsessed with youth and beauty that they could care less about older people (even some of the older people are this way).  Perhaps when you are in your teens/twenties?  But the problem with that is, honey, that if you're lucky to live long enough, YOU will be an older LGBT individual, so I would advise kindness, understanding, and looking forward if you don't want to be thrown away by society like refuse.<br /><br />http://sageusa.org/issues/isolation.cfm</p>
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/76YZR6J.jpg" alt="" width="212" height="385" /></p>

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austinpscottt
austinpscottt
9 years ago

sorry to hear that, will offer my heart to the ones that are or are going through a rough time, love scott

darkknightreturns
darkknightreturns
9 years ago

Two of the toughest times in a lgbt persons life are adolescence, (coming to terms with your orientation, bullying and so on,) the other is aging, where two manifestations are very hard to cope with. One is finding suitable supportive housing, the other the issue of ED, (erectile dysfunction). Many older have a hard time coming to grips with the latter, which has been such a huge portion of their lives (this is not to say st8's don't suffer equally.) Viagra , Cialis, even "caver jet therapy" ( needle injections) are not everyone's cup of tea. The one thing I would emphasise to the younger, NEVER try these ED remedies if you do not have an ED problem as you can do damage. As an older gay, life can become tough when the "wheels fall off the wagon" lol. It's part of aging, just seek support, it's out there.

9 years ago

Sobering stuff Will and thanks for being real here. The SAGE website makes for some very depressing reading, I sure hope things have changed for the better by the time I get to that stage. With the rise of murderous gay-hating Islam and the current apologist-traitor in the White House I think maybe not. There is still time.

9 years ago

I appreciate the input. And please understand this is not coming from the perspective of "bitterness" that more young men don't want physical relationships with older men. But I get quite disgusted often with the gay community as a whole, although there are exceptions. In the search for inclusion and normalcy, it seems that we are just fine with excluding, ostracizing, or forgetting people that don't fit the paradigm of youth and beauty. I also sometimes think that at least some of the things that are said about the community by detractors are, in fact, quite true. The constant shallowness. Remember the old fundamentalist chestnut, "If you are gay, you are going to die old and alone." I wish we would devote more time to proving them wrong.

talltony
talltony
9 years ago

This site as far as i know is one of the few gay sites that young and older guys get on well ,i am friends with many young guys as well as my age on this site ,however when i do go to a club or pub i do feel very sad how i some times get treated by the younger guys , but this i am sorry to say is life ?? Tony

Davey1965
Davey1965
9 years ago

Very good subject.Im sure there are lots of lonely guys out there that dont get involved with the gay Community.You can still have a happy life tho,and many Do.At any age we can be lonely so lets have understanding for all ages In our lives and as was said we all grow old eventually.

9 years ago

I guess my experience is quite different. I am nearly 62 and very active both socially and organizationally in the "gay community". While my partner is only slightly younger than me, I have not experienced any ageism issues. Most of our friends are between mid-20's to mid-40's. Part of the lack of age peers is the after effects of HIV on our generation. There are less of us than there were. I do know that some of the issues SAGE deals with is the lack of family support as we age. Tradition is that children assist parents. But being childless that will not be the case for us. So finding ways to be supported as we age is an important issue. There is a great deal of information about seniors moving to retirement communities and feeling the need to go back in the closet. But I also see, at least in my own community, younger LGBT people stepping up and saying what are we doing to support our elders. In fact, we have an active SAGE chapter here whose leadership is predominantly 40 somethings, and are seeing plans come together for LGBT senior living arrangements. Just my experience.

mophead2009
mophead2009
9 years ago

thanks for posting this blog my friend very relevant to me at the moment and its not something wildly acknowledged here or in the real world

9 years ago

Sorry that last post is mine, but GBT logged me out as I was typing.

9 years ago

What a chopped up mess. Dunno why the whole thind didn't come out in one post.

9 years ago

WTF?? I can tell you, being in an intergenerational homosexual relationship with >30 year age difference, we avoid 'gays' and the "gay community". We don't fit their pattern and experience has shown us they are cruel. So in a short while I'll be in a position to retire. Since I'm not part of gay culture, none of the issues mentioned above will affect me. There are a lot of guys out there who live with a man, like dick, are otherwise perfectly straight and want nothing to do with the gay community. It wouldn't be 'society' that would throw me away, it would be the 'gay comminity' so into youth yada yada. I sure as hell don't need a programme. That's my 2 cents' worth.

9 years ago

Hmm, seems to be a limit on posting size. Ok here's thre rest I hope. If you can't dance, don't go to bars and baths, can't cook, have lettle to no fashion sense, don't like opera never heard of Dorothy, are you really gay> I can tell you, being in an intergenerational homosexual relationship with

9 years ago

" I often feel that the LGBT culture is so obsessed with youth and beauty that they could care less about older people (even some of the older people are this way). " Here's the thing: not every homosexual is gay. What I mean is that there are those who make being 'gay' into some kind of religion. Everyone who is 'gay' seems to have to look, think and act according to the rules of the tribe. To think of it as a kind of Venn diagram, homosexuals is a fried egg including the yolk. Gays, a smaller subset, are the yolk. If you can't dance, don't go to bars and baths, can't cook, have lettle to no fashion sense, don't like opera never heard of Dorothy, are you really gay> I can tell you, being in an intergenerational homosexual relationship with

9 years ago

" I often feel that the LGBT culture is so obsessed with youth and beauty that they could care less about older people (even some of the older people are this way). " Here's the thing: not every homosexual is gay. What I mean is that there are those who make being 'gay' into some kind of religion. Everyone who is 'gay' seems to have to look, think and act according to the rules of the tribe. To think of it as a kind of Venn diagram, homosexuals is a fried egg including the yolk. Gays, a smaller subset, are the yolk. If you can't dance, don't go to bars and baths, can't cook, have lettle to no fashion sense, don't like opera never heard of Dorothy, are you really gay> I can tell you, being in an intergenerational homosexual relationship with