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Study Links Homosexuality to Eating Grits

tni01 Blog Last Activity 8 years ago 746 views 22 comments
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">Scientists at Stanford University released a study today showing that men who regularly eat grits are 70 percent more likely to have gay children.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">The prospective cohort study, published in Nature Medicine, followed 15,000 volunteers for 30 years to determine the influence of parental diet on the development of childhood illnesses.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">Although the study did find some connection between the maternal intake of sugar during pregnancy and childhood obesity, the most surprising finding was that fathers who ate grits had a much greater chance of having a gay child.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">â??We were shocked when we ran the data,â?? says Edmund Bergler, the lead researcher on the project. "But we controlled for every variable. We triple-checked every calculation. And it turned out that eating grits makes your kids gay.â??</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">After investigating further, the scientists discovered that chemical processing of grits creates a substance called homotonin, which acts as a free radical inside a manâ??s testes and damages his spermâ??s DNA.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">That DNA damage is passed onto the child and researchers believe it is responsible for the later development of homosexuality.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">â??Gay people like to say that they are born that way, and they are right,â?? he explains. "The DNA damage that causes homosexuality happens much earlier, even before conception.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">"Homosexuality is a choice. But it's the father's choice. What he eats  for breakfast determines the orientation of his child."</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">Another scientist on the study says if parents want to minimize their risk of having a gay child they need to avoid certain foods.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">â??Grits have the highest homotonin levels. Its off the charts," he explains. "However foods like sweet tea, biscuits, chicken-fried steak, and cornbread also have very significant amounts.â??</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">A spokesperson for Quaker Oats, a leading maker of instant grits said they had no comment on the study.</p>
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<p style="background: #fefeff; margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; line-height: 18.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;">A representative of Cracker Barrel, a Southern restaurant chain, says that orders for grits have dropped almost 40 percent since the study was released.</p>
<p><img src="http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/grits-with-butter.jpg" alt="Grit makes you Gay" width="600" height="399" /></p>

Comments

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8 years ago

USUALLY the youngest sibling in any family is born gay because of hormones left over in the mothers body from the birth of the previous older children...

8 years ago

Grits are unknown in Australia...what are they? And what are they made from? They seem to be associated with the Southern States, is that true or are they eaten everywhere in the US?

darkknightreturns
darkknightreturns
8 years ago

hate grits it's like eating mashed potatoes with sand in it lol

funksexual
funksexual
8 years ago

These studies are stupid lol

And of course, they have to bring in those "experts" who claim one's sexuality is a "choice"...

I almost thought it said "eating girls" when I first read it, I was like "what?"

8 years ago

Completely wrong. The confusion started with a typo. The study was called "Homosexuality linked to eating Brits."

8 years ago

I hate that stuff anyways.

8 years ago

I love grits, ate them all the time but so did my 5 brothers and 4 sisters and I am the only gay one.

8 years ago

Hey, anything that'll get grits & hominy out of the world's gastronomy (food). Grits are freaking nasty; I need a pound of cheese & a tablespoon of salt to get those things swallowed.

nwg6018
nwg6018
8 years ago

Yep, always knew it was the Cream of Wheat that did it!

gm4yngr
gm4yngr
8 years ago

I wonder how many southern rednecks are now looking suspiciously at their kids, not to mention changing their diets. I find this article humorous, especially creating the word "homotonin" but I was somewhat unhappy with the phraseS "damages his sperm's DNA" and "damaged DNA". If this were a true article, I'm sure they would have used the word "altered" instead of "damaged". Personally I would have used the word "improved". But the way it is written will appeal to the ignorant rednecks that it is intended to upset.

8 years ago

And it isn't even 1st April.

tni01
tni01
8 years ago

Personally it just shows how sick some people are to even have written trash like this, not to mention the rednecks that would take this as gospel without even doing some simple research.

8 years ago

lolol.....gotta get me some of dat der 'homotonin'!

richie
richie
8 years ago

Now i know why a lot of the southamerican cultures died because they eat too much corn and get homosexual and then disapeared !
RIDICULOUS !

swiftjohn
swiftjohn
8 years ago

This makes the scene in Deliverance where the Ned Beatty character is squealing like a pig make a whole lot more sense.

guynflint
guynflint
8 years ago

hahaha..now...what do we get if we add shrimp?

darkknightreturns
darkknightreturns
8 years ago

BS study

8 years ago

I was about to get incredibly angry at the human race as a whole because as could actually see someone trying to do this.

tni01
tni01
8 years ago

The article claims that Edmund Bergler was the lead researcher for the imaginary study. In reality, Edmund Bergler was an American psychoanalyst who dictated theories on homosexuality in the 1950s. Bergler wrote a book in 1956 called Homosexuality: Disease or Way of Life which espoused theories that homosexuality was a psychological disease which could be cured. He died in 1962.

Since that time, Bergler’s theories on homosexuality have been rejected, are viewed as dated, and are not widely accepted by the field of psychology. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed the classification of homosexuality as a mental disorder from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

tni01
tni01
8 years ago

Just a simple Google of the title find plenty on the net (Personally I just see it as more dibble to feed the haters) ...

8 years ago

Please send us a link to "prove" this funny story. Otherwise, I assume you're just pulling our legs. (Which is fine too! :-) ) This sounds like something off theonion.com.