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I really need some help here with this one guys
So, first off, I should note that I am so far in the closet I'm finding three year old Christmas presents.But anyway, my Dad and I always have these deep philosophical conversations late at night when I am home. Tonight, we started talking about homosexuality and whether it is a choice. I vehemently stand behind the notion that, no, it is not a choice but instead is an urge that one can either act on and be happy or suppress and always feel empty like you are denying who you really are. He started off the "debate" by stating that he thought it was a choice that one makes when they are very young. I proceeded to pour my heart and soul into this long response about why it is not a choice (of course I was trying to sound disconnected so as not to reveal my secret to him just yet). Surprisingly, he backed down from the argument - which almost never happens - and he seemed really understanding of my opinion of the matter. Somehow, the conversation shifted to how he would react to one of his children being gay (I have five siblings)and he kept repeating that he would be absolutely fine with it. Something about his tone made me think that he may be on to me. I may have put a little bit too much emotion into my argument. He kept saying, "I would love them just as much if they were gay as if they weren't." Do you think he knows?
Well i could jump on the band wagon and say that you can tell him because he knows.. but i've never had an Closet moment, because i've never kept it a secret, but not keeping it a secret means that you don't have to tell everyone either.
4 years ago (when i was 37) my parents asked me directly if i had a relationship with the friend who always tagged along, and i said Yes.. You could see that as coming out, but i don't see it that way. I've never hide my friendship with him, but i have a strong be-leave that sex and intimacy is done when you are alone and don't bother anyone else with it. If its straight or gay, it doesn't matter. I detest people who hold hands in public because: WHY? do you really need to show everyone that your an item? are you that insecure that you can't keep your hands of your partner until your alone?.
Of course he knows. Why do you think he backed down the way he did when you say that is something that almost never happens. He knows, he loves you and needs your open and honest opinion on the subject. He wants to hear it and try and understand it from an expert living the life which he obviously doesn't completely understand, but ya never know. You already know he loves you and your siblings either way. The more you can explain to him the more he will understand, especially the part about you being born the way you are. If he's religious, open minded and sensible then he will know that the loving God he believes in made you the way you are. Not all believers take everything in the bible literally. The conversation that smoothdaddy suggested you have with him may bring the two of you closer then you thought you could be.
You bet!
Of course he does but like he said, he would love you no matter what you do. I rather expect he was baiting you to tell him what he already knows. All parents know their children better than they know themselves. I loathe parents who throw their gay children out. It is not a choice and never was. You are what you are and that's the way you were made and as for the TV Evangelist rantings, I have always found in my 70 years that the loudest protest voice has the most to hide. From Julius Caesar: "Methinks he doth protest too much." I suggest that you tell him in one of your evening chats. You might impress him with your wisdom by saying something like: "Daddy, you probably already know this about me, but I am gay." You will both be very happy and you can enjoy the love of another guy. There is nothing like it.
Smoothdaddy
Dude...he DEFINITELY KNOWS, and is giving you the opportunity to come out to him. He WANTSÂ the open-ness....give him the chance to be able to accept you as you are, which he already does! And clearly he is smart and aware and sensitive enough to know it is important for you to tell him and NOT have him OUT you in some confrontational way that would make you uncomfortable. Now,as they say, the ball is in your court.
he knows. at 27 you should consider telling him if you want to get it out in the open between you.