MORE INFO ABOUT KaBOIng
- Age: 22
- Country: America
- About Me:
I don't bite! [I might bite...]
September 18, 1991
Ancient Egyptian History
Ancient Roman History
Favorite Porn Models:
Favorite Music Artists:
Sword of Truth Series:
(Wizard's First Rule)
(Stone of Tears)
(Blood of the Fold)
(Temple of the Winds)
(Soul of the Fire)
(Faith of the Fallen)
(The Pillars of Creation)
The Lord of the Rings
Pirates of the Caribbean
Favorite Television Shows:
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Favorite video games:
The Elder Scrolls Online
Far Cry 3
Castlevania: LoS 2
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Metro: Last Light
Star Craft 2
Call of Duty: Ghosts
Part 1 of 3
[Han Solo, having been rendered impotent in a freak blaster accident, is desperately scouring the galaxy in search of a cure for his crippled manhood]
"I found someone who says he can cure my impotence, Chewie! Set a course for the Lame system!"
[Later that week]
"Here we are, Chewie. If I'm not back in one hour, I want you to lock yourself in the cargo hold and blow up the ship."
[Confused Wookie response]
[Sixteen minutes later]
"Captain Solo. Thank you for coming."
"Not lately. Do you have my cure?"
"Yes, I have it right here. This cure is very powerful."
Are there any side effects?"
"Extreme body hair growth."
[Han Solo, having killed his only prospect for a cure over an undesired side effect, returns to his ship]
"Okay Chewie... You know, I never realized just how hairy you were until now... Let's get the hell out of here!"
[During the next several weeks, Han Solo continues his search]
Part 2 of 3
[Han Solo, having been unable to successfully locate a suitable cure free of body (and mind) altering side effects, heads to the cantina at the Mos Eisley spaceport to answer the call of an anonymous tipster]
"Here we are Chewie. You go wait at that table over by the window there while I try to track down my contact."
[Submissive Wookie response]
[Thirty-six minutes later]
"I've got a new lead on a cure Chewie! Let's hurry!"
"Excuse me, I'm Obi Wan Kenobi. Can you give me a lift to Alderaan, please?"
"No time for you old man!"
[Bartender witness sudden PEW! PEW's!]
"Hey! I saw what you did there!"
[Chewbacca run and dive through window]
[Storm Trooper intervention]
"You there! Freeze!"
[Storm Trooper go PEW! PEW!]
[Han Solo tuck and roll! Return PEW! PEW!]
[Storm Trooper return PEW! PEW!]
[Han Solo run and dive through window]
"Get to the ship Chewie!"
"There they are! Get 'em!"
[Random Storm Trooper PEW! PEW's!]
"Get us out of here Chewie!"
[Han Solo, having narrowly escaped a mob of blaster-happy Storm Trooper's, heads for the coordinates given to him by the anonymous tipster]
Part 3 of 3
[Han Solo, acting on the advice of an anonymous tipster, arrives at the predetermined coordinates]
"Here we are, Chewie. It's now or never."
[Agreeable wookie response]
[Eight minutes later]
"There's my contact, Chewie."
[Encouraging wookie response]
[Mysterious stranger wave at Han Solo]
"Come, my friend."
"If only that were possible. Can you really help me?"
"Of course. I have helped many men recover their manhood in the past."
[Han Solo peer closely at contact]
"Chewie, watch out! It's the Emperor!"
[Chewie turn and run]
[Chewie trip and fall down]
[Han Solo go PEW! PEW! at Emperor]
[Emperor block Han Solo PEW! PEW's with hands]
"There's no need for that, my friend."
[Han Solo holster blaster]
"Good... Good... Now, come closer, and your journey towards the hard side will be complete!"
[Han Solo satisfied smirk]
[Emperor place hands out front]
[Emperor zap Han Solo with electricity]
[Han Solo fall down and twitch uncontrollably]
[Han Solo pitch massive tent]
[Han Solo stare wide-eyed at bulge]
[Chewbacca display astonished look]
[Emperor give self-satisfied chuckle]
[Han Solo jump up and down]
"I'm a real man again!"
[Han Solo make mad-dash towards ship]
[Han Solo take-off in ship and fly in random direction]
[Han Solo, having finally been cured of his malfunctioning manhood, returned to his ship and blasted off into space in search of some much needed relief. Two years later, Han Solo became the king of the intergalactic pornography industry. He later starred in a series of extremely successful masturbation video's and quickly became known as "Hand Solo"]
[Chewbacca, having been thoughtlessly left behind with the Emperor by Han Solo, moved on to star in a low budget, but extremely popular game show series: "So You Think You Can Bind A Wookie?" The show was later cancelled due to the extremely high number of contestant fatalities. Chewbacca is now a bounty hunter employed by the Emperor]
- Favorite Categories:
Action Bareback Group Vintage
- Ideal Partner: Someone that doesn't just suddenly show up at my door for a quickie.
I want someone that cares about spending time together. Someone that would talk to me and cuddle with me under a blanket in front of the television.
I want someone that genuinely cares about how I feel and isn't just selfishly interested in his own pleasures.
I want someone that's not going to get up and leave as soon as it's over after giving me some lame, overused excuse as to why he can't stay. I want someone that will spend the night with me and cuddle with me in bed.
I want someone that doesn't feel like we need to have sex every single time we see each other. Sometimes it would be nice and romantic to just sit and cuddle and make-out without unzipping our pants.
- Erogenic Zones: [Chest] [Back] [Shoulders]
- Turn Ons: [Dark Hair] [Short Hair] [Naturally Smooth Bodies] [Tanned Bodies] [Easy Going Personalities] [Biracial Guys] [Bubble Butts] [Shaggy/Messy Hair] [Making Out] [Boys That Value Love And Relationship More Than Sex]
- Turn Offs: [Muscle Men] [Bears] [Cowboys] [Facial Hair] [Scrawny And Underweight Bodies] [Long Hair] [Aggressive Personalities] [Macho Personalities] [Drama Queens] [Liars] [Cheaters] [Manipulators] [Boys That Only Use You As A Placeholder Until Someone Better Comes Along] [Boys That Only Want To Get Into Your Pants] [People That Judge You Before They Get To Know You] [People That Think They're Naturally Better Than Everyone Else] [People That Try To Force Their Beliefs On Everyone Else]
- Relationship Status: Single
- Interested In: Guys
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