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im 21 and best friend is 15. im in love but its complicated :/

Blog Last Activity 11 years ago 9.8K views 247 comments
ok so i a couple months ago i moved to a different country (im from the u.s.) and i started hanging out with a cool group of people aged 15 to 20. we all like to smoke herb and just kick it. there is this boy louie hes 15 and hes super cute. at first we hardly talked. then we began talking and hanging out a lot. he invited me to sleepover at his house a couple times. slowly all of our friends began to think that we were more than just good friends and started calling us the couple of the group. I cant blame them i mean were always hugging each other and we call each other stuff like my love, baby, babe. One time at a sleepover at a friends house we sleept together with the same blanket and the next day one of our friends said that he saw us touching each other. it wasnt true but hes convinced we did. Louie and i do a lot of gay stuff like grope each others crotch and ass and we have walked down the street holding hands. not to mention that he sleeps over at my place every weekend for the past months or so. theyre 2 single beds in my room and we always sleep together in the same bed. i think the fact that i look like im 16 makes a little less weird but still. I think louie is straight and everything we do is just a a game. one time he said that we were in a fake gay relationship and that everyone thinks were gay but were not. Hes really really popular and has tons of girls that want him but somehow hes not intrested. hes all i think about all day every time i jerk off i do it thinking about him. Im going crazy im obssesed and its not healthy. Please help me out what should i do?

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11 years ago

There has got to be a bridge close by where you can go jump off of? Go online and learn how to tie a hangmans noose. You will get no sympathy from me. Louie "thought" he was gay? Give me a break your cuddles and actions had him so horny he was ready to try, later on he would have regretted it for the rest of his life and HATED you forever! All you wanted was to have him, nothing else. Do the world a favor end it now, you will soon find another child to fixate on, this time perhaps you wont stop. This time or the next you wont wait for their consent you will force them. ITS INSIDE YOU. Get help

11 years ago

Then do it the world could use one less pedophile you sick son of a bitch, go on kill yourself youve got the LSD just take an overdose and you will drift away

11 years ago

@JEDCLAMPETT FUCK YOUR LIFE!! I NEVER MOLESTED LOUIE. WE DID THE THINGS WE DID BECAUSE WE BOTH WANTED TO. LOUIE THOUGHT HE WAS GAY BECAUSE SINCE WEVE KNOWN EACH OTHER HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME. NOW WE BOTH NOW KNOW ITS A PLATONIC LOVE. HE DOUBTED HIS ORIENTATION BECAUSE OF ME. AND JUST BECAUSE ME AND LOUIE BROKE UP IT DOESNT MEAN THAT IM LOOKING FOR MY NEXT VICTIM. I HAVE DECIDED THAT THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME MY HEART GETS BROKEN. I HAVE A HOLE IN MY HEART NOW AND I CANT EVEN USE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE PAIN. I WANT TO FUCKING DIE. LOUIE WAS THE REASON I COULD GET UP IN THE MORNINGS. NOTHING MAKES SENSE NOW. I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL LIKE THIS. I WISH I COULD GO TO YOUR HOUSE SO YOU COULD PERSONALLY PUT A BULLET THROUGH MY HEAD AND MAKE THE PAIN STOP. IVE CRIED SO MUCH MY EYES HURT, I CANT EAT AND I CANT SLEEP. I SHOULD JUST BLOW MY BRAINS OUT MYSELF ALREADY I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

11 years ago

@lagayable Fuck You, Jed was right, good for you Jed. You might not have the verbal skills of Dr. Phil but you were right all along

11 years ago

I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!! The kids hormones were in an LSD induced rage and he was horny and afterwards he would have regretted his actions! Now all of you supporters of this pedophile can kiss my ass!

lagayable
lagayable
11 years ago

@sweetboi Well that settles it then. Im sorry to hear it. But perhaps its for the best and its time both of you move on...as you put it its "complicated" and i think that statement was very true. I for one have learned many things on this blog and feel i have made a few friends and enemies (jedclampett-SUCK IT!) but have enjoyed it none the less. and for that i thank you. Sweetboi i think its time you accepted 1. The probability of this happening was large 2. He was slightly too young (as seen on this blog) and 3. Breakup and heart break is apart of life and its how we deel with it, move on and continue to live the best life we can. which makes the difference. So stay strong, enjoy your life and Cheers to the future and I wish you all the best. Luv u man (pm me if u ever wanna talk) "This is not the end. This is not even the beginning of the end. It is, instead, the end of the beginning" – Winston Churchill -

11 years ago

This will be my last post on this blog. Louie ended our relationship. He told me hes not gay. He said he liked me so much that he thought he was bi. He was wrong. hes straight and wants a gf. he also said i was no longer his love , babe or baby. he said that from now on i was going to be the same as his other friends. As he was telling me this i tried to keep a straight face but on the inside i felt how my heart broke into a million pieces. I just wanted to lock myself in my room and cry. I never knew how horrible it feels to have your heart broken. I cant eat and i dont want to go out. If louie doesnt wasnt me then i going back home. without louies love im all alone. Fuck! i feel so hopeless and empty. All i think about is louie. Ever since the breakup i wish someone would put a bullet through my head and end this pain in my chest because i cant take it. this closes a chapter in my book but a new one begins. This has been an amazing experience and thank you guys for helping me through it. This is not how i thought it was going to end. we all know hearts can change. I just hope louies heart changes before i go back home. its been a hell of a ride. Thanks for your comments. Good bye.

Toby19
Toby19
11 years ago

21 = adult ..... 15 = child ....... the adult is responsible for his actions and fully knows what he is doing.. no excuses ...the law is their to protect children and 15 is still a child ...as for the drugs, 15 and he is drinking and taking drugs ...makes me think he has more going on in his head than just peer pressure ...what worries me is just cos the age of consent is lower in some countries it gives some adults an excuse to think they can legally have their way with kids ... legal or not .. in my eyes its still pedophillia ....

klausab
klausab
11 years ago

I don't know if 15 is the perfect "content" age, seeing the legal ranges throughout the world. What I don't like are people who see themselves as creator of right and wrong. I think it is proof of your weakness that you try to make me small by firstly claiming I was bashing the US, althoug my posting was dircted at you personally and secondly trying to make me small and emberassed by referring to Nazi-Germany some 70 years ago, thus forgetting, that with the same right I could - but never would - make you personally responsible for the slavery, the killing of native americans and the goings on in Guantanamo.

I felt sweetboi in his relation to Louie behaved responsible and is matuirng. He still has to extend his responsibility and maturity to the drugs.

11 years ago

Sspeakin for myself I think 16 is ok because then its legal, not saying i think its ok for a 63 year old to root or marry a 16 yer old but ya got to respect it being legal. As for drugs dont matter who payed for them it is that someon 21 who knows better was with a 15 year old and let him take them

11 years ago

You know what people, you all are bashing the USA for being too uptight about sex and age, Look at the blog I just posted, Its not from the USA and I think More than the USA are concerned. In fact I have done some checking, this site and others like it IS monitored. When an underage video is posted the posting IP address is recorded and will be kept in a database. You can up load or down load anything you like here but the minute it has to do with underage children you are in the database. I had one of the Officers who worked my Granddaughters kidnapping and murder all those years ago (who I became friends with explain it to me) There is a international lawenforcement agency that deals with child pornography If you commit any other crime and they cross refrence you on this list they will seize your computer and all media, search your home and workplace and punish you according to international child endangerment laws as set forth by the united nations.

jagain569
jagain569
11 years ago

getting off topic here... just wait for an update god damnit! we are people not police or parents we cant tell him what to do! hes not a pedo and hes not forceing anything. the act may be tecnicly illegal but it happens all the time. its only a big deal if he was forced or not ready.. the drugs are un needed and he should push him away from that life. other than that just wait for the god damn update and stop talking about jews!

11 years ago

@fringedivision Joined 19 hours ago? Who is this? I guess you couldnt comment under your other ID HUH, Well FUCK YOU TOO! This entire blod is insane! It doesnt matter that the kids have the LSD! If the kids had hand guns and were playing russian roulette wouldnt it be the responsibility of the adult in the room to stop it. You are just not getting the point, but why should I expect you to.I will not comment on this blog again I I hope Jeds Idea works

11 years ago

@fringedivision - gased not ovens? oh guess tha makes it ok then http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2224026/The-photographer-Auschwitz-Man-forced-chilling-images-Jewish-prisoners-haunted-death-94.html

11 years ago

@cutkiwi - Jews were not killed in ovens, they were (mostly) gased. the ovens were for disposal purposes.
@tommygunn - really???? That is all you can think of as a comment to Germans?? I am so glad you Americans are as perfect as you think you are. Isn't it America who stomps all over other souvergien states with your size 10 Jack boots - setting up spy stations in countries that AREN'T yours, dictating how other countries should arrest it's citizens to be extradited to America to face trumped up charges (wikileaks, dot Com for example). Germany had the best trained Military in both WW1 and WW2 with superior war tactics - it was just their stupid leaders that stuffed things up.
and as I recall..... IT WAS THE BOY WHO INTRODUCED THE LSD!!!

11 years ago

You know what FUCK you all, Sweetboi is a Addict that is a pedophile and I think he is an old man telling a story IF I had a way I would give every one of you defenders IP adress to the authorties

11 years ago

Jeez imagine being killed in an oven, pretty horrible way to go aye? (gotta watch these huns dont ya?) i was thinking this sounded kinda romantic until i read the bit bout lsd - it aint exactly toking on weed is it?
also i reckon it is just dumb to say "usa, nz etc are all puritanical countries with a 16 year age of consent and need to stop being so proivincial and chill out like the enlightend europeans with their 13/14 age of consent". It is 16 for a good reason to stop abuse
As i wrote below - imagine a 50 year old marrying a 13 year old bf

11 years ago

Just remember klausab it wasnt that long ago when your people were sticking jews in ovens so perhaps you are not the one to be preaching about tolerance. Wrong is wrong or doesnt Germany believe that? I guess like before you are above the rest of us.

11 years ago

Bet you guys are all fans of TWILIGHT arent you. The world does not work that way, he already admits to drugging these kids, He should go to jail for that. He is the adult even if they had the stuff as the adult HE assumes the responsibility just by being there no matter what country you are in! LSD is a damaging drug, its not candy you morons, then the rest of it is just sick and for those of you you are American Bashing dont call on us the next time you pathetic little country needs help like you always do

klausab
klausab
11 years ago

I can't believe what I am reading! It seems some have snapped after reading "15 and 21" and aren't able to push the reset button. The way people talk to each other in this blog is almost unbearable.How can you pray tolerance and fight against clichees and ignorance when you behave exactly the same way when you feel uncomtortable with sth? There are nations - civilised western nations, representing 100 of millions of people, who regard a relationship between a 15 yo and an adult as legal. You may have another opinion, you may explain your reasons, but how dare you behaving like God from the Old Testament or a medieval witch speaking a curse? Sweetboi so much seems to gain by it in form of accepting his responsibility for himself and Louie (thumbs up, sweetboi BUT GET RID OF THE DRUGS, they will ruin your brain, your bodies, your lifes and you are the older one, say NO next time anyone offers you LSD or sth else and tell Louie you do it also for him and because you love him).

klausab
klausab
11 years ago

I can't believe what I am reading! It seems some have snapped after reading "15 and 21" and aren't able to push the reset button. The way people talk to each other in this blog is almost unbearable.How can you pray tolerance and fight against clichees and ignorance when you behave exactly the same way when you feel uncomtortable with sth? There are nations - civilised western nations, representing 100 of millions of people, who regard a relationship between a 15 yo and an adult as legal. You may have another opinion, you may explain your reasons, but how dare you behaving like God from the Old Testament or a medieval witch speaking a curse? Sweetboi so much seems to gain by it in form of accepting his responsibility for himself and Louie (thumbs up, sweetboi BUT GET RID OF THE DRUGS, they will ruin your brain, your bodies, your lifes and you are the older one, say NO next time anyone offers you LSD or sth else and tell Louie you do it also for him and because you love him).