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Life is Unfair
Hello... I think it is true what people say, when you isolate yourself from the rest of the world it drives a man insane. I think it is true, or maybe Im sane and the rest of the world has gone insane. I am a college student who has discovered that for the rest of my life I have to work, have a job in order to be happy. Everything in life revolves around money. Work M-F, and have Saturday and Sunday to enjoy it by doing whatever we want, which will usually involve spending money. So the pleasures in life revolve around spending money?!?
I dont have much money and spend my days watching online television and jerking off. The only thing that is free in life is jizz aka life lol. So is our purpose as human beings to be slaves to labor, and reproduce?
Also I live in an apartment with 4 roommates, whom usually don't like to socialize. And this is jumping to another tangent, but Every time I get a phone call from home it is bad news. I have a single mom raising two sons. Ever since I moved to college my brother and mom are always bickering and yelling at each other. Torment after torment, lonely, confused about sexuality, unhappy, stressed, and unsure about my future.
The thought of suicide has always been in my head. But I have been courageous never to take the easy way out. I want my life to have purpose, and I want to leave a legacy. That has been my inspiration...
... lately my inspiration has been low... I still have some courage, but i don't know how much longer I can last.
I dont have much money and spend my days watching online television and jerking off. The only thing that is free in life is jizz aka life lol. So is our purpose as human beings to be slaves to labor, and reproduce?
Also I live in an apartment with 4 roommates, whom usually don't like to socialize. And this is jumping to another tangent, but Every time I get a phone call from home it is bad news. I have a single mom raising two sons. Ever since I moved to college my brother and mom are always bickering and yelling at each other. Torment after torment, lonely, confused about sexuality, unhappy, stressed, and unsure about my future.
The thought of suicide has always been in my head. But I have been courageous never to take the easy way out. I want my life to have purpose, and I want to leave a legacy. That has been my inspiration...
... lately my inspiration has been low... I still have some courage, but i don't know how much longer I can last.
I am proud to be gay! No one not even the government will deny me that right. People judge based on preconceived stereotypes.They can judge me all they want but I will not judge them for their immature thoughts.
Thanks for the advice...this is why I love this site.
My advise to you (and to jetty7) would be a combination of the advise found in the first 8 replies. Don't be a slave to your job or to money. Find a job that you enjoy doing and find creative ways to budget the pay that you receive. I take great joy in helping others, it really doesn't cost anything to give a smile or to be kind to others. I think that most people can gain happiness by making others happy. I wonder if your mother and your brother are unhappy because they miss having you around. I hope that you can find a way to bring them closer and helping them be happy. I believe that you care for them deeply, so helping them would give you joy. Wish I could tell you how to do that, but not knowing your family makes that difficult for me. Try to talk to them, let them know that you miss them both and that you wish they would help each other to be happy while you are away.
steelboi and many others have said it, hope you're not tired of hearing it, but it DOES get better! Please don't become jaded, jetty7 could be happy if would choose to change his outlook on life and so can you! I wish you all the best, take care and smile!
IN 1972 WHEN I FINISHED MEDICAL SCHOOL AND WANTED TO GET GOING AND HELP OTHERS THAT WAS NOT GOING TO BE AS EASY FOR ME AS IT WAS FOR OTHERS WHO'S FAMILIES HAD THE YOU KNOW WHAT, CASH, MONEY, PALM GREASE TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. I WAS AN INTROVERT FOR ALL MY LIFE, AND STILL AM. FOR 65 YEARS NOW I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT FRIENDSHIP. ABSOLUTELY NO CLOSE FRIENDS AT ALL. IT IS REALLY GETTING TO THE POINT NOW OF BECOMING UNBEARABLE, TO BE ALL ALONE. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FAMILY AND I AM ALONE JUST ABOUT EVERY SECOND OF EACH DAY. I HAVE NOT HAD ANOTHER HUMAN BEING TOUCH ME IN A LOVING MANNER IN ALL THESE YEARS. I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX. I AM TALKING ABOUT HOLDING A HAND AS TWO PEOPLE CROSS THE STREET. SITTING ON A COUCH AND HAVING ANOTHER PUT THEIR HAND ON MY KNEE WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE. NO NOTHING. MAYBE YOU AND I SHOULD GET TOGETHER. I AM NOT ABOUT THE SUICIDE TIP AND NEVER HAVE BEEN BUT, MAN, FOR ME, THIS LIFE IS FUCKED-UP ROYAL...
I have many LOW days but i always know that the High days are always around the corner and i dont expect any Miracles. Just be Humble and enjoy waking each day to new and exciting challengers such as finding a nice boyfriend and that is all the purpose in life you need. 8-)