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Can we enslave Canadians?

Blog Last Activity 10 years ago 724 views 25 comments
Here's the setup:
On
her radio show, Dr. Laura said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew,
homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot
be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open
letter to Dr. Schlesinger:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank
you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge
with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's
Laws and how to follow them.

1.
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2.
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?

3.
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5.
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6.
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7.
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8.
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?

9.
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10.
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we
do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I
know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

P.S. It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.

Comments

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10 years ago

haha "own a Canadian" ...never in your life ..we have a secret weapon against all you Americans the day you ever try to attack us>>>it's called Molson Canadian our beer ..we'd leave cases at he border and when you drink 2 you Americans with your candy ass beer will all fall asleep . game over lol!

dreeke23
10 years ago

were back in the middle ages

Davey1965
10 years ago

Take all the Mexicans you like Swiftjohn. haha ....Dont Americans all sit on there Ass and let Mexicans Tidy there front and Back yards anyway lol .. I choose a Canadian, sex slave... hehe

nate88
10 years ago

As an active member of 'Equal Rights Movement' (=) let me say, " Don't let YOUR religion interfere with MY rights."

Hugs to all, Andy XXX

swiftjohn
10 years ago

No, we can't own Canadians as slaves. That's what Mexicans are for.

10 years ago

Mike its bogof, buy one get one free

10 years ago

That is spot on.People are born gay and this is in their genes.Jesus called the Pharisees who were the ones seeking to enforce the laws in his day hypocrites because they put the law above the care and love of their fellow citizens.People have to remember that this is twentythirteen not thirteentwenty.Because I was born in anage when homosexuality was not accepted it took me years to accept that I was gay through no fault of my own.I am so grateful to the many,many generous and caring gay members of all ages on this site who are great examples of caring generous men.Thanks!

10 years ago

What's this about free slaves? ? am I too late??.dang

10 years ago

Some people pick out the parts of the holy books that they like and they use 'em for their own purpose. People will say all kinds of things but you can't take anyone seriously unless they have some consistency in their arguments. So homosexuality is an abomination but slavery (something the Jewish people suffered under) is just fine.
Basically it boils down to the old testament being mostly outdated. At least the new testament has a great main character. Say what you want about the new testament but Jesus never said anything about homosexuality and as far as he goes,he is basically a great example to follow. Jesus was all about love,peace and forgiveness. He had no girlfriend,he was always surrounded with guys. haha

letsGO
10 years ago

luv it, lol....some Canadians are hot, mmm, luv to own 1 !!!!!!!!!!

Davey1965
10 years ago

Its a work of Fiction Rob,Thats were youll find it in the Book Store.
If you want to read Non Fiction then just read a Gay Novel as that
is Fact lol

10 years ago

What is the name of that book again??? Certainly never read it anyway! It must be a book of good jokes ;o) I’m laughing out loud!!

BackStreetBoy
10 years ago

I think it all started from here? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48XreePDi8k

10 years ago

I find it humorous that California passed the gay marriage act and legalized pot the same day .. after all it says in the bible that "when two men lay in bed together...they shall be stoned"

love you Mr. Kaufman. for setting the religious right str8!

swiftjohn
10 years ago

I do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, I have sexual relations with a man as one does with a man. This is why I can't stand religionists. They pick and choose from the bible like it is some kind of Whitman's Sampler to legitimize their own personal agendas so they don't have to admit to being simply narrow minded bigots.

"In a world without religion, good people will continue to good things, bad people will continue to do bad things. But for good people to do bad things, that takes religion." Voltaire

10 years ago

Proof if ever there need be that most religious fanatics never read the bible. They can all go to hell.

normsil
10 years ago

BRAVO--thanks, Professor Kauffman

10 years ago

Brilliant..this should be sent to all church leaders, not just Jews. Although I consider myself a Christian I consider most of the old testament is nonsense, starting from Adam and Eve!
If some religious leaders consider homosexuality such a major sin why is it not among the 10 commandments which so many of them are content break and then conveniently repent of them, I assume.

10 years ago

Brilliant..this should be sent to all church leaders, not just Jews. Although I consider myself a Christian I consider most of the old testament is nonsense, starting from Adam and Eve!
If some religious leaders consider homosexuality such a major sin why is it not among the 10 commandments which so many of them are content break and then conveniently repent of them, I assume.

Davey1965
10 years ago

'Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman: that is detestable'
Modern Testement Superseding all Testements.
Do have sexual relations with a Man as this is OK .

ZanyZander
10 years ago

This is a brilliant and very appreciated post! Thank you SO much!