EternalPhoenix's Blogs

The Joys of 2014

EternalPhoenix Blog Last Activity 9 years ago 502 views 7 comments
<p>Iv'e never been a great friend, or for that matter even a good friend. I wil leave you for months at a time, I won't respond to your messages for months and I will never be there when you need me too. But strangely enough, you always help me piece myself back together. I've told you every damn secret in my head and you never got tired of listening to me. You never judged me for being a bad friend. I keep telling myself that all these months andmonths and months apart will be good for you. I don't want to drag you down with me, I've never wanted that. Instead, I find myself suffering alone. Wishing that I had a family that cared enough to help one of their own. A father who would call their son and at least wish them a happy birthday. A mother who I could tell anything too. A brother and sister to help me not feel so alone. Is that really too much to ask for? Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up again. I can't do this alone. I don't have the strength.

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9 years ago

What Mike (@marshmont) says makes a great deal of sense, and to add to it I'll say this: get out of your small town, in fact get out of the USA, as a country it can be stiflingly narrow-minded and parochial. Pack a suitcase and get on a plane to Europe - it'll open your eyes to a whole new world. Live in Paris for a while, or Berlin, Rome, Budapest, Madrid, London, Prague, Warsaw ... the list is almost endless ... you'll meet people with a completely different perspective on life, people from countries whose history is measured in thousands of years, not a few days ... countries repeatedly torn apart by war but which have rebuilt themselves, and where culture, tolerance and democracy are in the very air you breath. You only get one life, so it's time to start living it.

TheBurrhead
TheBurrhead
9 years ago

you can pick your friends, you can't pick your family. make the best of both, and if you are having troubles. please talk to someone.
-Brillo

9 years ago

You've had some good advice from some good people here, do please listen to them. As I said in my pm, if you want to talk then feel free to message me back. xxxx Christopher

EternalPhoenix
EternalPhoenix
9 years ago

Its just so hard to pull myself out from all the darkness. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't see how anyone could ignore their kids. My life means nothing to anyone.

mophead2009
mophead2009
9 years ago

ive been here too my friend tolead has wise words and no its not too much to ask i am a twin yet have felt so lonley at times so my friend whillst i know your situation i cant help but i can be a friend with broad shoulderss you do have strenght because you posted this blog tc my friend - giles

9 years ago

Strong words...strong emotions...touched me deeply. A family is not about blood, or shared DNA...a family whether that we are born into, or that we create for ourselves is about love and caring. For many of us, we create that family..a family by design..those people that we know care and we in turn care for them. And perhaps, no almost always in my experience, the family by design is a stronger, more loving and more enriching family. For they choose to be your family...they are not expected by birth to be your family. Just a perspective and a thought.

ZanyZander
ZanyZander
9 years ago

Well, I hope that things get better! I sometimes feel that way.