maxumillion21's Blogs

You go dude! Nice to hear that you're feeling more upbeat in this post. You can accomplish whatever you put your mind to, never give up! Oh. btw, when you start making your films I'd love to at least be an "extra" in one of them. For you, I'd gladly work for free :-)

Thanks guys! I find it inspiring that strangers whom I have never met can provide me with words of wisdom. Nice to know that this world is not completely filled with ass holes. This may sound cheesy but Im am not going to kill myself. Im going to prove to myself that I am capable of amazing things. My dream is to be a filmmaker and Goddam I will be. I will fall and I will cry but I will not give up.

I am proud to be gay! No one not even the government will deny me that right. People judge based on preconceived stereotypes.They can judge me all they want but I will not judge them for their immature thoughts.

Thanks for the advice...this is why I love this site.

I would like to offer both Maxumillion and Jetty7 all the warmth from my heart, just like to give something to these guys, doesnt cost anything to offer the hand of friendship.

So awesome to see all these great comments. Im sure that Max is in a better place, after reading these caring Messages. Be strong Max, and things will get better 8-)

Hi Max, I can relate to how you are feeling now. I am beyond having those feelings but in my high school years I was very close to ending my life on several occasions. I'm 55 years old now and am relatively happy with my life. I've read the previous replies and I think the first 8 each contain words of wisdom for you. The 9th reply makes me want to write to jetty7 and try to help him. I'm sorry to hear how miserable he seems to be, or at least seemed to be at the time of his posting.
My advise to you (and to jetty7) would be a combination of the advise found in the first 8 replies. Don't be a slave to your job or to money. Find a job that you enjoy doing and find creative ways to budget the pay that you receive. I take great joy in helping others, it really doesn't cost anything to give a smile or to be kind to others. I think that most people can gain happiness by making others happy. I wonder if your mother and your brother are unhappy because they miss having you around. I hope that you can find a way to bring them closer and helping them be happy. I believe that you care for them deeply, so helping them would give you joy. Wish I could tell you how to do that, but not knowing your family makes that difficult for me. Try to talk to them, let them know that you miss them both and that you wish they would help each other to be happy while you are away.
steelboi and many others have said it, hope you're not tired of hearing it, but it DOES get better! Please don't become jaded, jetty7 could be happy if would choose to change his outlook on life and so can you! I wish you all the best, take care and smile!

HEY, LIFE IS UNFAIR, TRY THIS FOR 60 YEARS OR SO.....
IN 1972 WHEN I FINISHED MEDICAL SCHOOL AND WANTED TO GET GOING AND HELP OTHERS THAT WAS NOT GOING TO BE AS EASY FOR ME AS IT WAS FOR OTHERS WHO'S FAMILIES HAD THE YOU KNOW WHAT, CASH, MONEY, PALM GREASE TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. I WAS AN INTROVERT FOR ALL MY LIFE, AND STILL AM. FOR 65 YEARS NOW I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT FRIENDSHIP. ABSOLUTELY NO CLOSE FRIENDS AT ALL. IT IS REALLY GETTING TO THE POINT NOW OF BECOMING UNBEARABLE, TO BE ALL ALONE. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FAMILY AND I AM ALONE JUST ABOUT EVERY SECOND OF EACH DAY. I HAVE NOT HAD ANOTHER HUMAN BEING TOUCH ME IN A LOVING MANNER IN ALL THESE YEARS. I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX. I AM TALKING ABOUT HOLDING A HAND AS TWO PEOPLE CROSS THE STREET. SITTING ON A COUCH AND HAVING ANOTHER PUT THEIR HAND ON MY KNEE WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE. NO NOTHING. MAYBE YOU AND I SHOULD GET TOGETHER. I AM NOT ABOUT THE SUICIDE TIP AND NEVER HAVE BEEN BUT, MAN, FOR ME, THIS LIFE IS FUCKED-UP ROYAL...

Hi Max .. i know that everything can seem like a hard slog at times with little return, but your situation wont be forever.. don't look too far into the future just try n concentrate on the here n now .. try n change those things that you can. changing a few small things in your life turn into bigger things .. check around collage join a few groups that interest you.. work they say is good for the soul.. it gives you yes money .. but it also gives you pride and a sense of worth, plus you meet new people, (maybe someone special) and also gain new skills.. suicide isn't an option .. living is.. whats shitty now for you wont always be the case.. it wont.. take care love Tobs xxx

Max...good words have been shared below...I want to share a thought or two about work and money....Yes it is true we need to make money..not to be happy...but to have food, shelter and necessities...but work does not have to be a bad thing...I have always believed and have always lived my life around the idea that what I do for work has to give me pleasure and joy....to live your life around waiting for a weekend...or a vacation is not living...there are those things in life that make you smile...that give you joy...and you can find those things in the career you go after...don't let the work be the thing that brings you down....concentrate on those things that make you smile...and follow them....as Mike says...you get back what you project...And I know words sound hollow sometimes..but know that at least for me, I know those feelings I had them as well...and the stress of being who I was...but follow your joy...you know the things that bring it to you...seize them in your everyday life...and you will be rewarded in ways you do not expect.....and remember...you have friends here...willing to stand with you...cry with you...hold your hand...and listen to you...and with all that, comes perhaps a little of their wisdom from life that you can use....stay strong...Hugs...Thomas xxooxxoo

hey max...its perfect...what you put out is what comes back...you control what you get...give a smile -get a smile...throw cuss words--receive the same...be in control because you are...give your mom and brother a good dose of love and happiness....kindle some good feelings...they will feel better....stop feelin helpless...be the happy max with shit to do...go ahead and come up with a small goal and attack it...

Max, I'm sorry to hear about your family. I think you know that life is what you make of it. You don't need to be trapped in the mundane cycle you imagine life to be, as long as you stick with wanting your life to have purpose and wanting to leave a legacy. Give. Share. Do what you enjoy. If life becomes stagnant, find a way to recharge it. Don't lose your inspiration, Max. I wish you the best.

What was said is true, life is a struggle,its how we deal with the situation at hand that gives us the strength within. You can gather strength from what friends we have whether they be online or in real life. My life has had a lot of downs in the last two months, but I have gathered strength from my friends on here, and I offer the warmth of my heart to see you through this down in your life just now, which will give you the strength to see you through. Take care my friend.

Sorry theres little support here Max but even tho the sexual topics get all the attention,Theres always someone here to talk to about how yr feeling. Just remember that your life does have a purpose and please dont compare yrself to others who seem way better off. They say that some of the poorest people on earth are the Happiest and money doesnt buy them Happiness.
I have many LOW days but i always know that the High days are always around the corner and i dont expect any Miracles. Just be Humble and enjoy waking each day to new and exciting challengers such as finding a nice boyfriend and that is all the purpose in life you need. 8-)

i know it might be cliche but it will get better.. i was once working 2 jobs no friends because of my jobs but luck found me a job that payed better and was able to get back on my feet.. 29 years later Im very comfortable .. its a long road and not always very easy.... family must miss you a lot. Roomies I hated having them and no privacy it seemed. But it will get better and please dont end it, shit if I could help I would indeed, but we become better people for having lived the struggle. Always reach out when feeling down some one will be there even if only a stranger, I know if I was near you would not be feeling that way.. hugs for now