castanho's Blogs

Relationship: be passive, be active or both – Any problem?

castanho Blog Last Activity 9 years ago 691 views 10 comments
<p><img src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/02271cd7652e7c819b70def754b3c468/tumblr_n5zjpr1yVK1tuo6mzo1_400.gif" alt="1" width="400" height="300" /></p>

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ZanyZander
ZanyZander
9 years ago

Hawt moving pic!

castanho
castanho
9 years ago

Indeed, like you said is a kind of situation that can blow up a relation if isn't negociated betwen the two parts. However the same problem depends in who takes the iniciative. The excuse, today I don't feel like ... is quite common.

9 years ago

It's something that has to be arrived at through negotiation, you can't rely on the other person's intuition to determine what you like, well, it doesn't work that way for me. And if you aren't a good communicator, like me, then there's a big problem.

kaBOIng
kaBOIng
9 years ago

A true relationship is 50/50. Both persons must give and take an equal amount at all times and always be there for each other if those values begin to falter in any direction. It's a constant balancing act that any true relationship will endure until the bitter end.

9 years ago

i like being both. my moods change. my desires change.

9 years ago

Worrying unduly about the mechanics of sex (a very anglo-saxon preoccupation) devalues what should be an act of love and diminishes you as a person. The right thing should come naturally, and if it doesn't come naturally then you shouldn't have sex with that or any other person.

Amyntas43
Amyntas43
9 years ago

I have always found these distinctions to be too stark, almost intellectual, what the French call la fausse clarté: ‘deceptive/ false clarity’(My spell checker insists I want to write claret at this point).. Like homo/ hetero, bottom/ top, fem/ dom. I suppose there are some who are uniquely one way, but for most of us, isn’t it the mood, the moment, the person? I have my preferences, but they aren’t red lines. Toe-sucking would not be my first choice (all that cheese) but, if someone I loved or wanted, asked me, I would yield, probably enjoy the experience and certainly be happy to pleasure him.

9 years ago

Make things clear first if you can ... but passion waits for no man, things are often out of our control. It's probably best to take a vow of chastity and then the question never arises (no pun intended).

castanho
castanho
9 years ago

You can think that is not relevant if you are passive, active or both. The undefined rules in a beginning friendship can be a disaster if you don’t make clear with your potential partner what do you like more or what you want.
Even for two active/passive friends when comes the time of doing it who is the first? The alpha one? Do you believe it? Also a passive can be alpha one! Let’s make things clear first, not leaving for adventures that can end shortly and unhappily