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TOP OR BOTTOM?
It puzzles me how the first words out of a gay guy is "Are you a top or a bottom?". Clearly what I'm being asked is whether I choose to dominate the other in the relationship, and that scares me because a relationship ought to be equal. If you have a partnership, are you the top or bottom, and how does that shape your relationship?
i tend to not identify my partner or i as a top or bottom. why assign a label to what you do between the sheets? when it comes to intercourse it can go either way at any time. we often fall into habits of preference, but it still doesn't label us. besides, when i sit in top of my boy's dick and ride him hard, i feel like the dominating partner on top. i feel like i can fuck him with my ass using his dick.
i useually let it work its self out. the guy i am with right now wanted to top but bacame a bottom. he says he is str8. any guy that wants to start off with a b.j and asks to be screwed is, well atleast bi i guess? i myself am a top. tried bottoming, no way in hell. tried many times. no way!
Bottom all the time!!
Whether you are a top or a bottom does not dictate your place in the relationship in general.
My ex was a total bottom in bed, but he was very domineering in the relationship. Stubborn, even when he knew he was behaving badly or in the wrong about something.
There wasn't a compromising bone in his body ... except for mine ;-)
Of course, there are no dominant women - that goes without saying.
I always say I am a total bottom because i absolutely love it and that is 99% of the time . I do top for a drop dead honey
How long ya think we could keep this up(w/ me spewing, natch)? :-P
i used to have a very dominate partner, and since I love being dominated, I bottomed for him happily. It didn't really shape our relationship, since I'm only submissive in the bedroom.
I like and do both but most of the guys I have had sex with likes me to bottom so that is what I do 75% of the time.
I don't know where people get this ridiculous idea that topping implies domination and bottoming implies submission. "Are you a top OR a bottom?" OR???? As if you are either one OR the other? I take cock up the ass and I give cock up the ass and I love doing both equally. When I'm lying face down naked on the bed and I have a naked guy on top of me pumping his cock inside me, the last thing I feel is submissive. I'm bucking my hips in time with his thrusting and working his cock with my rectal muscles. Just knowing that I'm giving my partner a great ride makes me feel powerful and not the least bit feminized or submissive. And once he's ejaculated inside me, we swap places and he gives me a wild ride in return. Giving and receiving anal sex is equally pleasurable for both of us. There are dominant/submissive gay relationships but that describes the nature of their relationship that generalizes into other aspects of their relationship - not just sex. Some guys like being doms, some guys like being subs. I'm neither and I have no use for either. All my sexual relationships are between equals and we fuck each other silly equally.
Top
I go w/ the flow...
Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey on Gay Men and Bottom Shaming:
Top or bottom being linked to domination is a stereotype imposed upon us by a sexist, male dominated, heterosexual society. Men are top and it is seen as being dominant. This should not apply to a gay relationship as both partners have the same body parts and. In my opinion, it is just a preference and there are a lot of guys who are versatile. Being 'dominant' has more to do with the character of a man in a relationship, not if he is top or bottom. A man can be a 'bottom' but still dominate in a relationship and in sex. So we should just enjoy the relationship and the sex without worrying about things like domination.
Top or bottom has nothing to do with domination. It describes generally speaking weather you are the receptor in anal intercourse or the inserter. God that sounds so clinical. And many gay men are versatile and find both sexual roles to be equally satisfying. It may or may not have anything to do with the power dynamic between the people. It is only about sex. Relationships are never "equal", each person brings to a relationship his unique abilities and traits. It is more a complimentary thing than an equality issue about power.
Thank you to those who care enough to respond. If I am gay, I want to learn as much about it as possible and your help is appreciated sincerely.