's Blogs

So Ben left me, and i spent a happy night recalling our conversation and the love in his eyes, I slept fitfully, I showered and dressed myself in my best clothes, I was about to meet the 'Gang' as Ben called it, i called it Team Ben, and they sounded formidable, I walked down to the mess hall, I could see Ben surrounded by eager faces, he saw me, 'Rory, over here,' he shouted above the noisy Canteen, and those sea of faces turned to me in unison, and as i got closer to them they all gasped, 'Look,' Ben said showing me off, 'didn't I tell you, here is my twin brother' and he grinned at me, he strode towards me and hugged me.

I was introduced to each one it turn, Danny, the Cool Essex Skater boy with bright emerald green eyes, working class but a genius with computers, Bobby, not the one one i had befriended the past week, but a stunning black haired boy with bright blue eyes, Gary, a stunningly handsome boy with white blond hair from Edinburgh, and a few others, including a  bevy of lovely girls.

They were astonished, he finished with Sammy, his current girlfriend, Beautiful, a tall blond, with flawless skin and a dazzling smile, 'He never told us,' she said smiling up at me, 'Told you what?' i asked just slightly bemused, 'that he had a twin hidden away, I didn't know what to say, I looked at Ben and he winked at me, ' Well I said, 'Ben doesn't want to share the limelight.' and Ben burst out laughing and explained to them that i wasn't his twin brother just a very good friend who uncannily looked very much like him, they still thought he was kidding, so I took out my wallet and showed them a photo of my large family, and they were convinced, but from that time on, I was the one Ben was closest to, even if Sammy was there, he walked along side me with his arm around my shoulder, or if we walked in public, holding my hand, it was all very surreal but i loved the attention from Ben and as the months passed, i, and many others, realized that i was madly in love with him.

Ben was oblivious to my state of mind, and after three months of being constantly in his company, I had a sort of breakdown, nothing serious but i could cry at a drop of a hat, and that wasn't like me, i decided to cool it with Ben and the Gang, just see them once every two days, and the very first day i didn't show up, Ben turned up at my dorm and knocked. 'Rory, are you alright?' I opened the door, he looked very concerned, he walked forward and hugged me, he could see I had been weeping, 'what' happened?' he looked really worried, I told him i was a little run down, and that I would be OK when I had some sleep, he undressed me to my boxers, helped me into bed and held my hand, I told him to go to his friends, but he wouldn't hear of it and said something, which i was often confused about, 'What! leave my brother.' he said shaking his head, I feigned sleep and he crept out and quietly and closed the door.

 Another week passed and I had to do something, so I told the gang I was going home for a week to see my family, I will come with you,' Ben piped up, 'I would really like to meet them,' I, couldn't win, we drove to my parents estate and Ben said, I have just realized that my Father knows your Father, and I said 'How so,' and he said 'isn't he the Procurator Fiscal for his Burroughs?' and I said yes he is, 'So is my Father for ours,' and it was true I found out from my own Father, anyway we arrived and my parents were taken aback by our resemblance, the week went perfectly, Just having Ben to myself was a tonic, and we roamed the estate talking to the people who lived on it including, Jon and Jamie, my childhood lovers, they too were all bemused by this 19 year old boy who, mirrored my own image, Ben and I spent twenty-four hours together, even sleeping in the same room, it was like a sort of honeymoon without the sex, but he showered with me, as he did with his own brothers, and happily soaped my back not realizing that i was hiding a boner in front, and was natural as anyone could be.

My parents adored him and when we left for Uni the following Sunday, everybody hugged everyone else and Ben became a member of my family which he still is to this day, this is only two years ago. Now today, Ben doesn't even tell my parents when he is coming up he just turns up like my own siblings and is fully accepted as if he was born my brother, it's really odd to see my older brothers and sisters talking to him, and say do you remember so and so, he asked for you yesterday, and Ben looked completely confused, because they were referring to one of my childhood friends, it's all a bit baffling.

Another month passed and I spoke with Ben and lied that my grades were slipping and that I had to concentrate more on my studies, and that i could only see him,and the gang about three times a week, and he looked really hurt, 'I love you, don't you love me?' he, asked and i could see he was really very upset, I reached to him and kissed him, on the cheek' Of course Ben, How could you be in any doubt about that?' I looked at him very tenderly, 'My Brother from another Mother! and he reluctantly agreed to the temporary arrangement, but I knew this couldn't go on, my heart was breaking, but i was at a loss what to do, the three times a week turned into twice a week and then once a week and I would catch Ben looking for me in the Canteen, he seemed very sad.

Then one evening  there was a knock on my door, I opened it expecting to see Ben, but no, it was Sammy, she smiled at me, 'may I come in?' I moved aside, She strode in, the waft of expensive perfume filled the room, 'I have come to talk about Ben', I was very suddenly awake, 'has something happened to him.?' I asked anxiously, 'Sit down,' she said and i obeyed,' I know what's going on with you and Ben,' she said looking at me quite earnestly, I was startled, 'There is nothing going on between Ben and me how could you think such a thing?' 'I don't mean sexually you arse,' she said to me, slightly angrier, 'What then?' I asked her, 'You are in love with Ben, and he is not aware of it so he thinks you don't care for him anymore, and he is depressed as hell, and I think it's all your fault and your being selfish!' I just looked at her and burst into tears, because she was right, I had no idea how my absence would affect Ben. Suddenly Ben strode in, he had seen Sammy come to my room and followed her, 'What have you done to him!' he cried out, he seemed very angry with her, 'I haven't done nothing to him, except tell him the truth' she shouted, I just couldn't take anymore, 'Get out,!' I cried pushing them both to the door, Ben looked visibly shaken, 'Rory.?' he pleaded, I shut the door and locked it. collapsed on my bed, and cried my eyes out, I had ruined everything because of my love for Ben, then fate intervened, about an hour later, there was an urgent knock on my door, 'Go away,' i shouted, and a voice i recognized instantly said, 'Master Rory!' it was Hamish, my fathers Factotum, I wiped my face and opened the door, My brother Richard, the nearest of my brothers in age to me, although ten years older, had fallen off his horse, and was in a coma in Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, i left everything and he drove me to be my parents and siblings, at my brother's bedside. We were there for four days, and my brother came out of his coma but was still serious, but my parents told me to go back to University and they would keep me informed, I returned to a firestorm.