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Getting to terms
Struggling with internalized homophobia. Asking why me ? I'm in a society that will not accept me, and somehow I can deal with that but that has programmed me and I cannot accept myself.
I really just need friends to talk to where I can be myself. So if I see a hot guy I can see that. I cannot share that with anybody. My best friends here I have to go "Yeah she is hot" but cannot go "Shit did you see the new BS video ?"
Also I'm Bi, need people to understand that I'm not in denial about being gay. I do fantasize about girls. Need to talk to someone who is bi and how they perceive things. By coming out as Bi you cock block yourself, I'm not into guys or girls at the same time. I can go a week being 100% straight and then a a week being 100% gay... so is that Bi ? Topics like that. Intellectual conversations etc etc.
I need to have someone that just accepts me for who I am. Need to talk about coming to terms with my sexuality, how to get over a guy who is straight that you cannot have, why the new IOS sucks.
Just want nice friends...
Send me friend requests if you like my idea. Maybe we should start a chat group called just for friendly chat
I will be your bud and not to cruise or use you. I just want friends too.
Haha, yes, totally get what you mean. I've currently got a bf after being married to a woman for ten years, everyone one assumes that I've been dying to come out for years and that my marriage was a lie. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm attracted to both sexes, end of. It just so happens at this time I'm with a guy. I don't 'identify' as gay or straight or bi or anything else, I'm merely me and have never felt the need to be defined by who I sleep with, it's such a small part of me(no pun intended) and I'm not with my bf because he has a cock, its because he's sweet, caring, supportive, funny and I love him.
Hi NBrown3601.
I know some of the things you are dealing with. It took me years to understand myself as I do. I have found true love and have been with my spouce (a gay man) for almost 19 years.
I have posted several stories about things that have happen with me, mostly the gay side, and said how my bisexuality is like. Have a look in other stories and jokes that were posted and you'll see some of my writings that have appeared on other's blogs recently. Just know that all bisexuals are not all the same. Neither are all gay people. I use the term "gay" with my family, as they don't really understand "bisexual." I'm sick of explaining it to straight people. Even my spouse has issues with it, as he's not attracted women like I am. The way you described is a bit different than mine, but still there are others where it works in similar way with them.
I have met with other actually gay men that will have sex with a women to reset a balance score with their counts of sex activity with men to women. This is how they deal with being gay. They don't accept themselves, just some of the ones I know, think this clears their "sins." Some are married to women, but sneak away to be with men... With them, they can have sex with women, but they really desire and prefer men. I do not do this. This doesn't sound what is happening in your case either.
It can be confusing with some that ARE bisexual, that have their moods change from men to women and back and forth. This DOES happen with bisexual men AND bisexual women. This is not that rare. However, there are those, like me, that are always attracted to both men and women, and could sleep with them both in a group. I have desires to be together with couples of men and women as well. Only if I was single again. It is just a bit more rare for me to be attracted to many women types. The physical attractions I have with women that are thin, pale, small breasts and short hair. This is androgynous, but still female in other aspects. Also, I like men that have the same traits. I am also OK with those men that dress as women or surgery have been changed to women too. Or vice versa.
There are some bisexuals that are more balanced and like more physical types than me. I follow mostly romantic feelings to men and women, so they don't need to be extremely physically attractive like models. I find men that are straight, not attractive, it would be like dating a brother or cousin - yuck! I may as well just fuck myself in that case. LOL.
Each of us could be just slightly different, but we should not assume that other bisexuals feel the way we do exactly. It's part of our dating to get the time to get to know each other. Unfortunately, all the women I've dated have all been very straight... they've never worked out. But, I find that bisexual women understand me better. If I was ever single again, I would truly still date men mostly, but women possibly if they understand. I won't date women without them knowing my sexuality. The guilt of having to hide or make mistakes with a wife that always thought I was straight would be causing us despair. So, I would rather stay single if I can't get any understanding and be in love first.
I hope this helps. *embraced* *kisses on face cheeks*