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holidays become more depressing every year...
here it is thanksgiving and already had one friend die and one family member--the family member is my cousin--he is 3 yrs younger than me and we became close when he was 14 and i was 17--sex or no sex doesnt matter---it was just the fact he came out to me and i kept it a secret and the more he and i hung out the more he felt like he can be himself and i helped him through those rough times accepting him where he was afraid others wouldnt------he went to the place he works at where they had a thanksgiving dinner and he got in his car to go home and didnt make it off the parking lot---he apparently had a major heart attack killed him quickly---his brother called me and told me about it and now he is gone--
his brother and i talked about his brother being gay and he never felt like he can come out to his parents so he kept it hidden his entire life but from me his brother and couple friends---
so as i go to his funeral saturday i have no idea what to expect from the family--but all i can say is i loved my cousin and he has left a place in my heart
well the funeral went as well as expected---but seeing him made the memories he and i had has been on my mind since seeing him so i will tell a little about things--first of all his dad and mom and our uncle and aunt were highly religious-so for a couple years he and i acted like perfect angels--it was one night he and i were at my uncles house and they had left for church and we didnt go--so we goofed off wrestled around and he kneed me in the balls and i was like oh fuck and he was shocked i had cursed--
he kept asking if i was alright i said i was fine--i laid on my back in the bed he was on his stomach and i reached over smacked his ass told him never hit a guy in the dickhe started rubbing his ass where i smacked his ass--and pulled his underwear down to look at my hand print and i joked around with him asked if he needed me to kiss it make it feel better---and he said sure and he was shocked when i did do it as i said there you go now its all better--
we wrestled around more and i let him think he was winning andlaid on my back he got on top knees on my shoulders and counted to three --i noticed his shorts which was just his underwear same as i was wearing andi felt his hard dick rub against my chin-- he quickly got up laid down on the bed on his stomach and i said dont worry --popping a hard on is normal--
it was then i told him i was gay and he asked if i was afraid others finding out and say i was going to burn in hell for being gay---i said i dont worry about anything--its their problem not mine then i told him how i came out to my parents--which wasnt something i had planned but things happen that is beyond our control
this opened the door to alot of talking and i said we needed to get dressed as my uncle and aunt will be home from church before too long--we got dressed and as we waited for them to get home he asked me why i was staying the weekend here at my uncles house and i told him i was there to get up early in morning and help my uncle mow his yard as i had done since i was 14 to make money---- so for next few weeks he talked his dad into staying the weekends with me and so he can be open about himself while others were gone to church..
it was one night he wanted to see me hard as i hadnt let him yet--i said be quiet as everyone else was asleep-- as he rubbed my shorts and got my dick hard he took it out of my shorts and began stroking it---he loved how it felt and how hard it was and said he was hard as well---i reached my hand out slid it into his shorts and took his hard on in my hand--
he asked me if i was ok with this i said yeah and asked if he was he quickly said yes--we laid there for while just stroking and whispering to each other and this was at a time sex wasnt talked openly like it is today--i never heard of incest or lesbian or queer--next thing i felt was his lips on my dick and he went down on it some and stopped --then took mouth off said he was sorry i said dont be sorry if its what you want to do then go for it then ill do same--
we almost got caught as the door opened lights came on we quickly laid down covered up and pretended to be asleep-- so we didnt try anything else that night--it was the next dayi asked him if he thought his parents would let him stay the night with me he said he can ask i said ok and he kissed me on the lips and said thanks
it was a few weeks before he can stay the night and it was only because his parents and my parents wanted to go to a party and they wanted him to stay with someone so he stayed with me--
anyhow we became good friends and when he turned 18 he moved to florida--and i heard from him at first but then he stopped sending messages to me in mail..he got married had three boys andif he explored his gay side after that i have no idea---
No matter what the situation, a loss like this, especially during the holiday season is devastating. Please know that my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope any tears will soon be eased by the wonderful memories that will be with you forever.
Im sorry for the loss of such a good friend and Im sorry he had to take his secret to his grave. Hopefully in the future being Gay would not be considered a secret.
Deepest and heartfelt sympathies for your loss.
So sorry to hear about your cousin. The fact he trusted you and only a handful of others with his secret is something you should always hold close to your heart, that and the memories you have of the good times the two of you spent together.
hey thanks for sharng
Hold his memory close, as you did with his secret. Value the time you shared. Never forget.
My sincere condulences. My thoughts are with you tomorrow. Stefan.