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Matthew

Matty72 Blog Last Activity 10 months ago 559 views 3 comments

Why is it that no one likes me I'm just a cruse on people and bring them back luck and make them worry and hurt  them and upset them and make them worry 

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Matty72
10 months ago

Sorry I've not been on hear for a bit as I haven't been feeling to good and my  screen broke on my phone and I've got very bad  eczema and it's all getting to me so please don't worry hopefully I be back on soon hope you all are keeping well and staying safe and everything is going OK for you 

10 months ago

Most of us have, I believe, our load of burdens.
As me: when I was 19 years old I got caught by a religion. One of those evangelical churches that forbid and reject gays.  They promise that God, who is almighty, will cure you. Well, I hope we all know that things don't go like that.
If I knew that at that time. ... If I knew that at the time I wouldn't fear the punishment of God as they like to traumatize you with that story, and I would instead live my life with the boyfriend of my dreams.

 There is a movie based on a real life event: " Prayers for Bobby ". That movie made me cried. I could see myself struggling with my "sinful" nature. At first, Bobby's mother, who was a member of an evangelical church, rejected the sinful nature of her son. She was convinced that God would cure her son, but got to learn with time that God doesn't cure gays and doesn't reject them. And finally she became an LGBT activist. Her name is Mary Griffiths.

What occurred to me was that my religion strongly suggested the year 1994 as Armageddon. We were all convinced of that. But nothing happened. Obviously. Many members left but others decided to stay but became less sincere. But me, I felt that if I leave I'd be against God.
A ex-member who knew my situation suggested me to go elsewhere to "relax". Coincidence decided Bolivia. But because all those years of brainwashing it took me until my 55 years old when I realized that God wasn't against me or any gays and that I could have lived happy with the boyfriend of my life ... . A little bit late...
When I remember all those useless years studying and preaching the Bible . I feel actually useless myself.  But why permitting what happened to sadden my life.
 I come here often  and reading  blogs and checking different users wall I see that many users have their own sad story to tell.  I see that I am not alone to feel that I have ruined my life.
And I hope Matthew that coming here you'll feel a bit more relaxed knowing that you aren't alone who feel this way.  

Matty72
10 months ago

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