The state of South Dakota launched a public service campaign to remind drivers not to jerk the wheel when driving in snow. Hmmm...think I read it slightly differently. Just Sayin'
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I think the music video for Depeche Mode's 'Wrong' is quite simply the most amazing music video I've ever seen. I love Depeche Mode and this particular song anyway, but the video brings in a whole new dimension and says something to me existentially about the basic human condition....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrtydD2u1N0.........I am really interested in the idea of video that perfectly accompanies and accentuates music. Would love to get suggestions of things I might not know about. 0 comments / Post Comment
When Gay Liberation was kicking off in the late 1960s, non-conformity to heteronormative traits - marriage and monogamy being two of them - was part of the culture. This was a culture of freedom, of youth, and of possibilities. "Growing up" and getting married didn't fit into that very well.
In the lead up to my wedding, I'd started to realise there was a certain adolescence I was letting go of. What I didn't quite comprehended, until I thought that older gentleman's comment through, was that such an adolescence isn't something a lot of gay men want to let of go of.
Nor do they have to. Our culture permits - even encourages - an eternal Peter Pan syndrome whereby we can choose to remain young and free at heart. And we do the best we can to keep our physicality in such a state too.
I'm not the first to call this the "gaydolescence", but this isn't a common term. I can't speak for the rest of the LGBT spectrum, but for gay men, we're allowed a much longer lease on youth than our straight counterparts.
Until marriage equality came around, gay men were relieved of the pressures of having to couple up, move to a nice suburban neighbourhood, and spawn children to carry on the cycle.
For the most part, the gaydolescence comes from being denied a legitimate adolescence in our teenage years. Even gay teens who grow up in the most liberal of environments have a good few years of finding out who they are. For those that aren't so lucky, the years 13 through to 18, and often beyond, are riddled with confusion and isolation (past the appreciation of most heterosexual coming-of-age experiences).
The consequence of this is often young gay men don't partake - and actively distance themselves - from the adolescent experiences of teenage love, sex, even good friendships. Both implicitly via societal norms and explicitly by schoolyard bullies, gay teenagers are more likely to miss out almost entirely on the education of adolescence. They're perennially relegated to the sidelines as observers, shallow stereotypes, and outcasts.
While usually there are others to blame for this (like the aforementioned bullies), gay men only realise in later years that the onus was on them to have a proper adolescence, and we built up protective barriers of our own which prevented it. The fall out effect of this becomes apparent when we accept who we are, at 18, 22, or sometimes 30 or older, and then we become 16 year old boys all over again.
Sex drives ramp up. We join a party culture that doesn't stop for anything. We date around and finally get the sexual education we missed out on (and then some).
It's obvious that gaydolescence extends to some gay mens' physical appearance, too. Buffed up from the gym like the athletes we wanted to be in high school, we're finally able to enjoy the prime years of ultimate fitness and boysie banter we were once denied. We try to stop time in other ways as well; notably in our skincare and hair regimes, and our wardrobe choices. Only on gay men is it still acceptable to wear hi-tops and tank tops at 38.
For some guys, the gaydolescence never really ends. Others might drag it out until their mid-40s when they realise a the benefits of a prolonged adolescence are no longer outweighed by the effort it takes. But for the gay men coupling up and getting married early-ish in life (myself included) our gaydolescence isn't even going to last into our 30s.
My enduring gaydolescence may be over. But that's not to say I'm going to get fat. I'm not throwing out my tank tops, nor do I plan to stop having fun. I'm married, not dead, and there are some things I have now - things I never had as a teenager - that I'll never give up.
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Again I come back from a hospital stay of 10 days, I was emergency surgery Thursday, December 3, I peritonitis, I do not wish that on anyone, I hope I'm fine finish the 2014 and 2015 will be a good year for me, I'll be a bit more active in the coming days. 10 comments / Post Comment
TA DAAA!! 2 comments / Post Comment
Seasons greetings and lotsa luv to all you great guys at GBT - HUGS - Braedan 5 comments / Post Comment
Is there anyone else here who has been circumcised later in life(not as a newborn)? I had it done last august(2013) at 23. I am regretting it because i lost so much sensitivity. Feel free to share your experience...8 comments / Post Comment
ï»¿On an island full of Wild Things like this one? I'd never want to leave.
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Found this guy's bravery really inspiring. There's nothing sadder to me than when gay men, who should know what it's like to be bullied and rejected, turn around and laugh at, bully or reject one of their own. This story really touched me and left me feeling sad, though luckily there were some beautiful parts to it in The Black Cap pub in London, which I used to go to sometimes......video here...http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/video/2014/dec/08/what-happened-when-a-30-stone-man-entered-mr-gay-uk-stavros-louca-video 2 comments / Post Comment